Cold North Wind

J'accuse

2012-01-23T20:33:00.000-08:00

Whom do I blame ? Who is ultimately responsible for this annihilation?

First of course, the abuser. The brute. The criminal. He who raped my children. Who brutalized my babies and animals. Who tried to kill me. Who got custody.

And as a malevolent shadow behind him, my first husband. The non-person. The Hollow Man.

The HM, who, when I awoke weeping the night my father died at my knees on the floor, turned and so roughly said " Whaddaya crying for it's not sad when an old man dies." I was pregnant with HM's child. My first born. This HM who was so supportive of and friends with the child rapist who had also brutalized the HM's child. HM who came to court and lied. He always lied so well. About everything. HM who found the lawyer for the criminal. And on and on. It would take many books to describe it all. Did I ever tell anyone ? No. To what end ?

Equally, maybe mostly, I blame the social services culture and rules. The police were always excellent with me. They knew him. But they and others are required by law to report any abuses like wife beating and child sexual abuse, to the social services.All cries for help lead, by law, to the social services. A very few know what they are doing. A huge number have no idea what they are doing. (undoubtedly think they know) , and follow the legends, myths and fairy tales they have learned. Some who may be involved in child sex abuse/porn rings. After all, there is a market and these people have easy and mandated access to hapless victims. There is money to be made with human agony.

Finally, I blame the divorce laws which would be laughable if they were not so ruinous to already brutalized and victimized mothers and children.

J' accuse

Council pays £1m damages for 'shocking' child abuse failings - 1/18/2012 - Community Care

2012-01-19T16:58:00.000-08:00

Council pays £1m damages for 'shocking' child abuse failings - 1/18/2012 - Community Care

UK MOTHER WINS...

2012-01-19T15:20:00.000-08:00

UK MOTHER WINS...

10 REASONS NOT TO DISCUSS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN 2012 - Working Mother's Social Network | MyWorkButterfly

2012-01-13T19:17:00.000-08:00

10 REASONS NOT TO DISCUSS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE IN 2012 - Working Mother's Social Network MyWorkButterfly

The Web

2011-12-20T00:34:00.000-08:00

of manipulation, lies and stupidity. A hallmark of divorces involving abuses. Here is one small thread of one tiny web.

A bit of background. Husband no.1 , x no. 1 saw me reading a book by (I forget !) maybe Greer, or de Beauvoir . Around 1972. I was always and remain, a "bookworm". He decided then and there that I was a feminist. I didn't know what that was ! Whatever that was, to him it seemed as if I was a murderer or something equally horrendous. He stomped around the house like a 2 year old having a tantrum. Weird. But then, the guy seemed so damaged that I knew early on that something was terribly off about him. I got married when that one asked (had refused a lot) , to please my aging parents. They lived in a decent world. None of us knew about- "the hollow people".

Fast forward. I marry x2, because I am pregnant (after being told by medical people that I could never have another child) and as I have no job, no money and did have the farm my parents left me,I decided I had no choice but to marry.(late 70's) Looking back, I still cannot see any other decision I could have made. I did have 25$ a week in child support. I has refused alimony for me, knowing that the hollow man would never leave me alone.(even though he left and wanted divorce)

Jump ahead about six years. Son by x1, now age 11, abused and traumatized by x2 and his friends, is developing some behaviours that I find suspicious. I am in the process of setting up our escape plan and must not allow anything to arouse suspicion in x2. I have already asked a lawyer about divorce and was told I must tell the abuser. I was afraid of being killed- but told him. He seemed to-go the way of trying to convince me to not divorce. I had quietly put it off for a year. I made more plans in the meantime. (x2 is an incestuous child rapist of children, animal rapist and wife beater)

I try to never let the children out of my sight. Ever. It is late summer.1983 ? The son is home, soon to go to boarding school. I lose sight of the older girl, age 5, and the boy. Panic. Call and call and rush around with my heart in my throat. . Finally into the new vehicle to search further afield.

A short way down the country farm lane, and the girl emerges from a shed. Comes to the vehicle. With a look on her face- of - shock ? I ask what was going on. She told me. (undressed her) I asked if the boy had put any body part inside her.She said "no- he started to, and stopped." I want to vomit. I want to kill. I want to disappear with my daughters. I can do nothing. If he (x2) finds out, we are doomed. All of us.

For years, I have told medical, police, church, psychologists at a major Montreal hospital etc. They must report to social services.Family therapy is offered. Nothing.I had got another degree, a job,a vehicle etc.The son was going to be in boarding school. To protect him and all of us. If I say something now-to whom ? There is no-one left to tell. The web is about to strangle us all.Just like x2 did. Except I lived. Will we all live through this ?

Maybe a couple of weeks later, a social worker appears. Another one. I thought- finally, some reaction from the powers that be. Silly me. She was talking about the boy.She closed the file, writing that I had solved the problem. At the time I still had not caught on- I thought- nothing is solved, what is she talking about ? So, x2 was behind all that. SS listened to him, but not the police or doctor or any of the others- including me. Are they all in a group of pedophiles ?

Half a year later, I have temporary custody, have rented my loved farm and moved (second mortgage) to a house in a village, thinking that if I scream , there is a chance someone will at least hear.

The girl children return from a visit to abuserdad.I am making the beds and find a diary of sorts under the eldest's pillow. There is little in it and it does not read like a child's phrases. There is a last entry :xxxx raped me. I photocopy the phamplet and return it under the pillow. After I lost custody and rarely saw the two seriously traumatized girls,on a visit to me, the older girl suddenly asks me (in a very public place !) "Mum , what does rape mean ?" I answer "It means when someone puts a penis inside your body and you don't want them to." "ohhhhhhhh, I thought it meant take all your clothes off" .

There it is. x2 told her to write that in that "diary"(which I never saw again) and blamed the boy, x1's son, for the supposed rape. By which they meant penile penetration. x1 supported the child rapist who was also responsible for traumatizing his son. The whole thing is/was so incredibly twisted, demented,, criminal, unspeakably evil and destructive that words are inadequate to describe that web.

This is what "protective" mothers are talking about, when we use the word abuses or domestic violence.This is what fathers' rights gangs support. This.

Chilling 1

2011-09-03T15:06:00.000-07:00

It is a wondrous thing. My life. One long scratching for survival or, just to be left alone in peace. Lay off the incessant demands.Even as a tiny toddler still in a crib, I had a mind of my own. So when I was fed boiled prunes ,little brown slugs floating in their nasty-looking brown juice, I got up- wobbled to the window and without too much stretching, tipped them out the window !

So at age six, when a man dressed in what I told the police ,were "soldier clothes", tried to lure me onto the side running board of his car- to see "something interesting"- I pretended to step on the board. Caught a glimpse of something that resembled the gross whitish bloated grubs that ate the vegetable garden plants. Milliseconds before he roared off- gunning the engine and disappeared around the corner.Minutes before, as I had crossed a street, he rolled up beside me and called through the open window- "Take down your pants". True to form, I had yelled NO and thought- boy- how weird is THAT-.

The subtle and the not at all subtle harassment continued and escalated as I matured.To the point where I could not understand why any girl/woman would WANT a date on Saturday night, much less any other night. By 19 I had pretty much given up on dating. It was in no way a pleasure to be fighting off tentacle hands guys groping and/or being called names I had never heard- . Lesbian. Was that someone who wouldn't just F##k a guy because HE wanted to ??? Some did not behave like cavemen- but, I was keen on my job and interested in almost -everything- and had girl after girl arriving at my apartment, with 1-3 babies and toddlers, asking to stay the night. I had irate husbands who pounded on my door the next day or night demanding to see their wives. These girls, with whom I had been to college, often had visible bruises. I just was- the dumb blonde- "Who ? oh- haven't seen her since college. You are her husband ? Oh -congratulations ! You are so lucky. " etc. They would slink off growling.At 20 I bought a piece of land. 20- 26 I don't remember much- I was working, content, had a job, car apartment, cat etc. To please my aging parents, who were increasingly worried because I was not married (they came from a world that required a man to "take care of" a wife and children". Decent people.): I accepted yet another marriage proposal from someone who seemed stable- my parents "accepted" him. And that was the beginning of the end -

Unwarranted guilt-

2011-07-17T11:51:00.000-07:00

I was working flat out , in an excellent position-as I paid the mortgages, clothing- everything but some food. Two children are at the babysitter's. One- 7 months old- (6?) , the other, 1.7 years old. I go to pick them up- am off a bit earlier than usual. The babysitter meets me at the door with the older child- with a terrible look on her face. My husband- the child sexual predator, has come and taken the baby. I ask -how long ago-. Not long- . I drive like a fiend to get back. Arrive- fly into house. I cannot remember where the toddler was or where she went- if she came in- that is a blank. Still. Pervert comes rushing down the stairs, puffing and all red in the face. He says- gasping- don't go up- she's been sick- . Die you fuck.(I think) I go up. Find a sheet with -a circular wet mark about 5 inches in diameter- baby maybe was sucking on it ? She is on her stomach- a hastily thrown clean sheet on the crib mattress- not tucked in- and a new diaper. Her tiny bottom in the air, knees/legs curled under her. At some point- can't remember- immediate ?- I pick her up and put her on the changing table. Open the diaper. She had made desperate protesting noises when I picked her up (from behind). There is a flaming red friction burn mark around the anus, as if a red-hot two dollar piece had been held there and seared the skin. I grab the zinc paste. Gently pick up the legs- she stiffens her whole body and pulls/looks away. God. One part of my mind KNOWS what the bastard did. The other part is reeling from- how could anyone- who will believe me- what the hell do I do do I kill him do I try (again) to get out- can't tell social services- they won't believe me- can't be obvious he will kill me (already tried)She kind of convulses . A viscous white ribbon of matter is expelled. Ejaculate. I call the baby's name. Show her the paste on my finger. Say "it's mummy, it's mummy-" She suddenly focuses on me and the body relaxes. I put the paste on -gingerly. When he did this to the older one (as a baby) I did not connect. He wouldn't let me take her to the hospital (I realize now- until the burn marks went.)When I did go- the hospital didn't "connect" either.

The rest of the days and weeks are a complete blank- except-

A few days later, there are bruises on both legs. I cannot figure it out- my hand does not fit- the marks are too big- and, the marks don't fit the way I had held her legs to put on the paste.Two outlines of two hands- well- ten fingers-. I tried placing my hands every which way- I thought I had caused the bruises. It was years before I realised- the bruises were from HIM grabbing her- from behind, while she was on her stomach. And this being (male) got sole custody and then cut me out entirely from their lives. Then , everyone blamed me and thought I had done something wrong. I wish I WERE a witch and could bring down disaster on all the people who destroyed us.

Torture

2011-07-01T22:42:00.000-07:00

For reasons that I haven't yet figured out, the flashbacks are hitting hard and heavy.
The really bad ones. For example; Easter, 1981. The child rapist's mother comes to visit. I take her (and the 7 month old baby to- - was it an auction?- Maybe just to see her old haunts. The 2.5 year old stayed home. Chrapist says he'll stay as she is due for a nap. Not far along in the little drive- the mother suddenly emphatically wants to go back. She was almost in a panic. Back we go- and she rushes out of the car and into the house. And upstairs. Chrapist comes rushing out of the house, all red in face. At the bottom of the stairs, the mother calls to me in a wavery voice-" XXXXXXXXXXXX- there's something wrong with xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.She won't move, she won't talk it's like she can't see me." I go up. I know now- but not then, that the tiny child was catatonic. There were chocolates on the bed, and she was dressed in an awful(to my eyes) pink quilted dressing gown. Never seen before nor after. This is the criminal who got custody. I went for divorce to save myself and my children. ALL my children. Wasn't believed or listened to. But then- neither were the police nor the doctor nor the psychiatrist etc. Insane.

Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate: Review: Broken Bonds Catalysts For Family Disputes

2011-05-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate: Review: Broken Bonds Catalysts For Family Disputes

Oh my.The nutters are all buzzing like a disturbed hornet's nest. These are down under nutters, but we have sub species all over N.America also.

Timeforjusticeandprotectionforthechildren

2011-05-26T14:25:00.000-07:00

Timeforjusticeandprotectionforthechildren

Good place for information. Little opinion (but I looked very quickly) and lots of information. That is good and needed.

newport-news-va-scars-of-abuse-mothers.html from blogspot.com - StumbleUpon

2011-05-15T10:51:00.000-07:00

newport-news-va-scars-of-abuse-mothers.html from blogspot.com - StumbleUpon

Blazing Cat Fur: Our Elites at Work: Pedophilia a sexual orientation...just like heterosexuality

2011-04-18T21:24:00.000-07:00

Blazing Cat Fur: Our Elites at Work: Pedophilia a sexual orientation...just like heterosexuality

Glad to see others share my opinion of this hairball. (Hubert) He has been teaching for decades at a Montreal University. Decades of children have been destroyed by his "teachings/ideas" It goes like this : report child sexual abuse - especially if it is intrafamilial- and your abuser will just find a lawyer, social worker, mediator, doctor, psychologist "expert" and bingo- lose the the children. You are - crazy or a druggie or an alcoholic or a "loose woman"- any one or combination of the usual crap.

Haven't blogged in long time. Gets too much -and- there are some truly excellent ones out there-

EQUALS

2011-03-08T19:55:00.000-08:00

California Family Courts Helping Pedophiles, Batterers Get Child Custody - Page 1 - News - San Francisco - SF Weekly#disqus_thread#disqus_thread

2011-03-03T10:07:00.000-08:00

California Family Courts Helping Pedophiles, Batterers Get Child Custody - Page 1 - News - San Francisco - SF Weekly#disqus_thread#disqus_thread

A most important article . Of note, are many of the comments that flooded in, touting a psychological THEORY and ignoring the deaths and trauma ridden lives of (for example) the children who survived.While some in the reading public may prefer to follow ideas and theories; there are, without question many if not most, who would prefer to see children being protected and not given to criminals on the strength of words rather than facts.Children who, if not murdered, survive and fight trauma reactions for the rest of their lives.

PHYLLIS CARTER'S JOURNAL: TOO LATE FOR JUSTICE - QUEBEC HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION

2011-02-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

PHYLLIS CARTER'S JOURNAL: TOO LATE FOR JUSTICE - QUEBEC HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION

Child Abuse - The Canadian Encyclopedia

2011-02-26T15:23:00.000-08:00

Child Abuse - The Canadian Encyclopedia

Home

2011-02-22T09:49:00.000-08:00

Home

JessiesMomGlendene's Page - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2011-02-22T09:48:00.000-08:00

JessiesMomGlendene's Page - PEACE4 THE MISSING

Abusers gain custody of children — SpeakOutLoud about psychological abuse

2011-02-18T09:15:00.000-08:00

Abusers gain custody of children — SpeakOutLoud about psychological abuse

American Family Recieves Asylum in Europe: Holly Collins Son Returns Home to Marblehead Massachusetts

2011-01-18T14:01:00.000-08:00

American Family Recieves Asylum in Europe: Holly Collins Son Returns Home to Marblehead Massachusetts

This is of such crucial importance for so many thousands of mothers and children across North America. Most are unable to speak. They are dead or gagged or just trying to live from day to day. Often, just putting one foot in front of the other, drains all energy from survivors of this particular hell.

The hell of ,as children, being wrenched-plucked from a peaceful, safe loving environment in order to live (not the right word) with your abuser, your rapist.The hell of being that mother who not only must somehow live with the the indescribable agony of never seeing your children (or rarely)and the unbearable knowledge that they are being profoundly wounded and you can do nothing to help them. Nothing , but pay money to the abuser. At the same time, a mother like this must protect herself from the continued and often escalated attacks by the criminal who tried to kill her, who beat and battered her and who so grotesquely abused her children and animals.

Jennifer speaks for all those thousands of children across North America and in other countries.
Who will listen, and learn ?

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

2011-01-12T16:22:00.000-08:00

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

This early report on the eighth Battered Mothers Custody Conference deserve a place of honour here !

Second child dies at Sask. home | Canada | News | Toronto Sun

2010-12-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

Second child dies at Sask. home | Canada | News | Toronto Sun

Social services system - AGAIN. Ove 25 years ago, the police told social services about all the abuses of my children and myself. When there is / was sexual abuse of children, the police and other "authorities" are required by law to report to the social services agency. Where nothing happens and after 5 years, records are destroyed.

At present, there is a report on the workings (or lack of) in the social services system in Saskatchewan. Basically- the report says what some victims have been saying for decades- the system is broken. So- now there are more child sacrifices made to the god of "Institutionalized Crime."

At least if certain groups would just stop saying they care about children, there would be some consistency. I guess our society thinks it has evolved, as we don't drink the blood of our smallest victims anymore.

Abusers Getting Custody

2010-12-23T02:24:00.000-08:00

Abusers Getting Custody

Father of two children charged with their murders

2010-12-21T14:22:00.000-08:00

Father of two children charged with their murders

Even IF abuse is recognized, laws, practices and attitudes compel children to visit their abuser. Social services systems seem oblivious to the reality of entrenched abuse which so often escalates.

My children and I never had a hope in hell. At least we are all still alive- I think.This week, two reports released in Canada- one in Nova Scotia and one in Saskatchewan. There has been one in British Columbia. Quebec has had films,reports and whole regions placed under "tutelle" (government oversight). Still the carnage continues. All these reports and actions outline the desperate need for overhaul of all the social services systems. The only thing that happens is - nothing. Unless you count continued murders and neglect deaths of children.

So many years ago, a policeman said to me-" we have to report to the Youth Protection Madame- and they do nothing."He was right.

(For other country readers- very often, a judge will ask for guidance in resolving a custody matter- and very often, it is the social services (a worker) who is asked to provide a recommendation. )

911 + 1 + a bit about boxes from a woman who spent years in one. « Let'sGetHonestBlog

2010-12-18T16:13:00.000-08:00

911 + 1 + a bit about boxes from a woman who spent years in one. « Let'sGetHonestBlog

The "Father’s Right’s" Movement: How to Legally Stalk, Harass, and Intimidate Victims of Domestic Violence after a Restraining Order has been Issued « Battered Mothers-A Human Rights Issue

2010-12-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

The "Father’s Right’s" Movement: How to Legally Stalk, Harass, and Intimidate Victims of Domestic Violence after a Restraining Order has been Issued « Battered Mothers-A Human Rights Issue

Girl shot 8 times trying to protect brother: Lawyer | Canada | News | Toronto Sun

2010-12-15T15:34:00.000-08:00

Girl shot 8 times trying to protect brother: Lawyer | Canada | News | Toronto Sun

Hopefully, that judge's name will appear somewhere - the one who granted custody to a criminal. Was it a Montreal or a Texas judge ???????????? Apparently each adult filed- in their respective jurisdictions. It was apparently a Montreal judge who granted temporary custody to the mother on Oct. 26. So, it would appear that MAYBE it was a Texas judge who "messed up" bigtime-. Accessory to murder and attempted murder. However, Quebec province and Canada in general, have their bountiful share of children being sent to live with criminals.Some children and mothers are murdered outright- others experience slow soul-murder. Some survive repeated suicide attempts- some don't-. And so the carnage goes.

Canada needs a "NamUs" too: currently has no central method to identify missing people with DNA - PEACE4 THE MISSING

2010-11-30T19:43:00.000-08:00

Canada needs a "NamUs" too: currently has no central method to identify missing people with DNA - PEACE4 THE MISSING

Canada needs a LOT of "updated" - laws and systems. This is one of them-. Thank you for this text-

Another Dr. Richard Warshak Lie: He Says He Does Not Have a “Treatment Center” But What Do You Call His $20,000 “Program” in Texas…a Popsicle Stand? « PAS is a Scam

2010-11-30T17:16:00.000-08:00

Another Dr. Richard Warshak Lie: He Says He Does Not Have a “Treatment Center” But What Do You Call His $20,000 “Program” in Texas…a Popsicle Stand? « PAS is a Scam

Jan Weir should be wi8dely read- in Canada and elsewhere.

The Pixel Project

2010-11-30T14:59:00.000-08:00

The Pixel Project

Check it out- if you are a thinking person-

PAS is a Scam

2010-11-27T17:57:00.000-08:00

PAS is a Scam

More victims and their supporters recognize this insanity for the destructive viciousness it supports -

In The News: Deprogramming Treatment Blocked in Child Custody Case « York Nursing News

2010-11-27T17:38:00.000-08:00

In The News: Deprogramming Treatment Blocked in Child Custody Case « York Nursing News

Last year- this WARshak hit the news in Canada. An 18 year old saw through the despicable nonsense.Thank goodness.

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part Two

2010-11-27T17:36:00.000-08:00

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part Two

Part Two available here- the WARshak's attempts to- supply more victims to victimizers.

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part One

2010-11-27T17:34:00.000-08:00

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part One

This is Part One of an excellent expose of a War shak's latest attempts to push a bunch of ideas that kill and maim.

Momma do I have to go ? Why ?

2010-11-27T17:30:00.000-08:00

Do I have to go- wails my 5 year old, while clutching me so hard she left red marks. I have learned to exist in a place called Survival, which means(among hundreds of actions) I must answer every question from everyone and anyone, truthfully and evenly with no emotion. Yes, I respond. Why ? My answer. Because the judge said so. I don't say : I know this being sexually abused you from 6 months on. I know he tried to kill me- which your sister saw. I know he passed you around to other men to abuse- I know I reported to police and medical authorities for all of your short life- I know. But social services seem to not have been alerted- although they came to the house- but- one wrote : file closed-matter resolved.It wasn't, so I went for divorce. No-one would help us - so I had to continue. No, I don't tell a 5 year old that, An already traumatized 5 year old. The criminal is bellowing in the street " oh you brainwashed her -"

(totally disregarding the intelligence and courage of this child.)

I won't tell a hurt 5 year old ,that the whole world as she knows it is against her, except her siblings and her mother.I don't yet know that she will lose her mother, her siblings (except for one abused sister) her clothes,her home- her pets- everything.And then she will have to forget great sections of her soul- gouged out by our insane society that never, it seems, listens to an abused mother or a child.

So when I read the verbalizations of a Warshak and his -cultlike followers still blathering on- while my now adult children along with hundreds if not thousands of others,careen and stagger their way through their lives; I relive that and hundreds of other soul destroying scenes from my/our past lives.

The use of these theories leads to daily ,reprehensible events for non-abusing protective mothers and their abused children. It is insanity. It is a war against any semblance of a humane and evolved society.It is criminal. It is a human rights abomination.

Some men seem to feel that we who have been totally disempowered as humans, are "wrong" because some only write about females. It is my firm belief that I must not write about that of which I have no knowledge. I am not male- so do not presume to be able to write about males. That, they must do for themselves.

Update on case in Hawaii… « Family Court/PAS candidate

2010-11-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

Update on case in Hawaii… « Family Court in America

Oh- this sounds SO typical- of cases all over the Western world. She is prime to be accused of alienation- if she has not already been. And some people wonder why so many are against these- ideas that are so destructive.

On

2010-11-20T22:49:00.000-08:00

pages 220-221 of her book Unspeakable, Lynn Sacco writes the following: Many critics depicted women's willingness to "break the silence" as a modern-day hysteria incited by feminists who easily manipulated desperate and irrational women.Columbia University psychiatrist Dr.Richard Gardner, who often provided expert testimony on behalf of accused fathers, argued that "feminist groups . . . have their share of fanatics.(They)operate as if they have a lifelong vendetta against men and will never be satisfied until all of them are destroyed.These zealots have found the sex abuse scene to be a perfect opportunity for the expression of their venom." Some feminists were unhappy, too.On the front page of the New York times Book Review in January 1993, psychologist Carol Tavris mocked the outpouring of incest claims as a pathetic " cult of victimhood" and a by product of the "excesses of feminism."She lambasted the "incest survivor machine", comparing a woman who makes an incest allegation to a woman who alleges that the FBI was "bugging her socks".

All my children never had a chance.Nor did I , to protect them-although I tried everything-and now, have only the energy to - talk.

CAS pressed defendant to relinquish custody of daughters, murder trial told - The Globe and Mail

2010-11-17T11:04:00.000-08:00

CAS pressed defendant to relinquish custody of daughters, murder trial told - The Globe and Mail

This case is unutterably sad. I believe the tragedy was a long time in the making. The girl child Elaine was apparently sexually abused as a child, I think it entirely possible that the husband was abusive. There was probably a post partum hormonal mess up - social services were involved-they frequently seem to be unable to recognize- any possible solutions to any perceived problem and their perception often appears to reflect some theory in some outdated textbook.

Of course Elaine is responsible for the murders, but I think that much of society bears responsibility also. A total tragedy.

Support for the Family Law Amendment (Family Violence) Bill 2010 Petition

2010-11-16T16:19:00.000-08:00

Support for the Family Law Amendment (Family Violence) Bill 2010 Petition

If Australia succeeds in evolving and securing human rights for children, maybe North America will follow- one can always hope- and -sign the petition !!!!!!!!!!!

Courtney Macavinta: Ending Domestic Violence Is About Jobs, Homes and Protecting Kids, Too

2010-11-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

Courtney Macavinta: Ending Domestic Violence Is About Jobs, Homes and Protecting Kids, Too

Well- a reasonable piece in a Huffington Post blog. This blogger (CNW) was thoroughly disgusted with the appearance of a Warshak and his fawning minions, in a Huff piece a few days ago.Incredibly- or perhaps, predictably, NO information that seriously contradicted this idea(of Warshak et al) was accepted. What was left was the swooning and nauseating comments of adulation.I toyed with the idea of re-writing the exact piece, but have the text selling deodorant instead of some dangerous idea. Also, the fawning comments would have served as a toxic base for a deodorant marketer's product. Ultimately, my energy and that of thousands and thousands of battered mothers and their often equally or more wounded children, is not served by paying attention to the pushers of a weapon of destruction.Or deodorant.

Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate: Zahra, the Libs and the family law changes: A Tale That Should Never Have Happened

2010-11-14T10:54:00.000-08:00

Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate: Zahra, the Libs and the family law changes: A Tale That Should Never Have Happened

Canada and other countries need to follow Australia's lead on this. Canada has its share of murdered children, suicides, drug problems, spreading violence and the walking dead adult children who muddle their way through life like a bouncing ball being thwacked by every racket wielded by every unthinking person, law and system.Our "modern" version of child sacrifice.Destruction by the high priests and the wannabe high priests.(one example of a wannabe -alienation theory proponents)

I wonder if there are ANY high priest politicians who give a damn about our country's children.None stand out-

Womanist Musings: 6 Months For Beating A Woman In Public: Has Justice Been Served?

2010-11-10T09:13:00.000-08:00

Womanist Musings: 6 Months For Beating A Woman In Public: Has Justice Been Served?

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

2010-11-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

Get a whiff of these Pedocaust Deniers- Warshak and his followers

Sisyphe.org - Une théorie inventée utile au lobby des pères

2010-11-09T13:50:00.000-08:00

Sisyphe.org - Une théorie inventée utile au lobby des pères

Super important- Quebecoises- ATTENTION !!!!!!!!!!!!!

B.C.’s proposed guardianship concept raises red flags

2010-11-08T19:21:00.000-08:00

B.C.’s proposed guardianship concept raises red flags

Important to read, know about and consider - I wonder what Pamela Cross thinks of this-and anyone else- "in the know"

Hell Is For Abusers Video

2010-11-08T18:48:00.000-08:00

Hell Is For Abusers Video

Rather fits with: Momma, will I ever be able to pee again-

Women in Crime Ink: The Journey to Justice: Garvin County, Oklahoma

2010-11-08T14:17:00.000-08:00

Women in Crime Ink: The Journey to Justice: Garvin County, Oklahoma

This site continues to be excellent.

Canada- checkout : http:www.lukesplace.ca

TheSpec - Keeping abused mothers safe is best for kids...

2010-11-08T13:56:00.000-08:00

TheSpec - Keeping abused mothers safe is best for kids...

Note all the comments- most completely ignore the murders of mothers and children. Guess these commentaters never watch or read ANY news -It seems that for them- the lives of mothers/women and chilodren do not count-

Momma, will I ever be able to pee again?

2010-11-07T16:39:00.000-08:00

The 9 year old asked in a trembling terrified voice. I am standing beside her in one of those miniscule hospital emergency room examining stations. Two weeks ago her father, who got custody, actually brought her for a visit. (he never followed court orders) Her sister didn't come. She had marched straight up to the bathroom - actually - limped up- one step, one foot. Then the other foot, hesitatingly beside it. She looked to be in pain. She never spoke. I held back from going up, to see if the wife beater,child sexual assaulter and bestiality practitioner was outside still. He was. Parked. So, we cannot speak. He had bought one of those listening devices. I don't know if it was effective for listening, but the girls certainly thought so.

By the time I go upstairs, the little one- she was small for her age - was in the bathtub- and scalding hot water was in the tub. Horrified, I put on the cold water. She spoke- "No it has to be hot." She turns it off when it is only about two inches deep. I don't understand - but I know it is profound. Her eyes tell me that. Her entire being speaks of trauma. I still don't get it-. I pick up her clothes- dirty as usual. The underpants are coated, in the crotch area with a dried viscous white substance. I think- now he has given her an infection. I want to take her to the hospital. I can't. I have no money. None. I have no gas. I dare not phone the doctor. The perpetrator is still outside. He has attacked men - not just me and not just children. If I phone and he can hear me with that blasted device-the doctor is at even more risk.

I cannot remember the rest of the day.I only know that 2 weeks later I saw her again on a Sunday, and I had some money for gas to go to the hospital. The underpants are in a Ziploc bag.

The doctor doesn't SEE what is in front of him. Or doesn't want to. Emergency room doctors on weekends are frequently beginners. I don't suppose doctors are taught anything about female anatomy from babyhood on. Does he think it normal what I see clearly ? Does he ask ? No. Another big nothing.My child has been raped and no-one sees, hears or wants to know. If I speak too much, my chances of being killed increase- and it looks as though the ONLY thing I can do for my children- is not be killed by him. That would prove the hopelessness of living to them- for sure.

The doctor DID write a bit- about redness he saw - but nothing of the tearing- which I saw. But then- 21 years later-if an adult is raped- there is no operating place, with rape kits etc. -available.(in my geographic region) Society teaches us well- women and children are - nothing.You can do anything you want to them, and nothing will happen. And if you try to tell ? - You are criminalized- for "wanting to tell lies about the nice man." All the while- our society makes nice noises about combatting child sexual assaults.

The underpants finally went to the social services. The answer came back: "there is nothing we can do."

I never thought they would or could- but- followed the law anyway.But then- apart from the perpetrator, the social services were a major obstacle for protecting my children. Goes like this : follow the law, report child sexual aggressions, go for divorce to protect them and self-be blamed for lying by social services, lose custody to child rapist. Some wonder why more sex crimes are not reported -well- really- how inane can you get.

I love to watch Dexter. Of course. I wish he were real.

Every day I want to wrap my arms around my children and tell them I will protect them from a criminal. But that would be lying to them. And now they are confused adults- out there somewhere.I guess.

Oprah Winfrey tackles male childhood sexual abuse - CTV News

2010-11-05T17:59:00.000-07:00

Oprah Winfrey tackles male childhood sexual abuse - CTV News

BBC News - Mother sentenced for abducting son in Isle of Man

2010-11-04T17:18:00.000-07:00

BBC News - Mother sentenced for abducting son in Isle of Man

Workplace Violence Bill 168 | Workplace Harassment Ontario Employers | CPI

2010-11-04T09:43:00.000-07:00

Workplace Violence Bill 168 Workplace Harassment Ontario Employers CPI

Get a Widget

2010-11-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

Get a Widget

SafeChildWithMom

2010-11-03T19:05:00.000-07:00

SafeChildWithMom

This is a super blog post-.Needed to be shared.

End Modern-Day Slavery

2010-11-03T16:26:00.000-07:00

End Modern-Day Slavery

This guy looks like a winner- check it out ! He has been BUSY !

Beyond Borders announces 2010 Media Award winners

2010-11-03T16:10:00.000-07:00

Beyond Borders announces 2010 Media Award winners

Important work being done here. Important work being recognized.

Canadian Crime Victims Foundation | CCVF - Welcome

2010-11-02T20:16:00.000-07:00

Canadian Crime Victims Foundation CCVF - Welcome

Canadians, check out this site.

Domestic Violence Documentary - Power and Control

2010-11-02T18:01:00.000-07:00

Domestic Violence Documentary - Power and Control

This is an important site- www.powerandcontrolfilm.com

Crime Victims Share All at Town Hall Meeting - Chevy Chase, MD Patch

2010-11-02T14:52:00.000-07:00

Crime Victims Share All at Town Hall Meeting - Chevy Chase, MD Patch

One wonders if Canada will EVER start listening- as these people in the U.S. did. One judge in the Youth Protection system tried, some years ago in Quebec. She was squelched. Her treatment at the hands of some "systems" sent a clear message to victims- tough if you experienced a crime and you are a mother or child. You are only Roadkill. The judge's name was Andree Ruffo. I hope some recognize the name - -

Obituary: Paul Touvier - Obituaries, News - The Independent

2010-11-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

Obituary: Paul Touvier - Obituaries, News - The Independent

Note the involvement of the Church- and present day sexual abuse victims and the Church.

Paul Touvier, 81, French War Criminal

2010-11-01T13:29:00.000-07:00

Paul Touvier, 81, French War Criminal

Every time I read of these -collaborators, I am reminded of the absolute certainty with which some people "dressed" as psychologists or social workers (for example) denigrate a proective non-abusing mother, and recommend custody to a child rapist.

Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate: Parent Alienation Awareness Day

2010-10-29T23:20:00.000-07:00

Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate: Parent Alienation Awareness Day

Quebecer can sue church for abuse | NewsNetUSA.com

2010-10-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Quebecer can sue church for abuse NewsNetUSA.com

At least this. The prescription in Quebec, as I understand it, is for 2 or 3 years after recollection and realization of the criminal acts. I imagine it was because it was the Church- that the Quebec court did not allow the case to continue.

New tactics curbing calls

2010-10-28T00:04:00.000-07:00

New tactics curbing calls

Remarks by the President at Domestic Violence Awareness Event | The White House

2010-10-27T23:41:00.000-07:00

Remarks by the President at Domestic Violence Awareness Event The White House

October 27, 2010 Domestic Violence Awareness Month | The White House Video

2010-10-27T23:37:00.000-07:00

October 27, 2010 Domestic Violence Awareness Month The White House Video

Same story in Canada. If there are 22 000 calls for help in a month in the U.S., then in Canada, with one tenth the population - there are 2200 calls per month. And those in the know-know that is the tip of the iceberg.

Injustice in Oz: Are Judge David Debenham and GAL M. Jill Dykes Acting in the Best Interest of the Child or Engaged in a Cover-up? « Anne Caroline Drake

2010-10-27T00:06:00.000-07:00

Injustice in Oz: Are Judge David Debenham and GAL M. Jill Dykes Acting in the Best Interest of the Child or Engaged in a Cover-up? « Anne Caroline Drake

Probably cover up- or just your average Diths. (dead in the head people) Saw that on a Facebook. I like it. The Land of the DITHs.

Child Abuse: Effects, Statistics, Types and Stories of Abuse

2010-10-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

Child Abuse: Effects, Statistics, Types and Stories of Abuse

Of course children are afraid they won't be believed- especially when you saw dear old dad try to kill mommy- and everyone thought he had succeeded.

Benefits and pitfalls of domestic violence courts: Part 1 | rabble.ca

2010-10-26T19:25:00.000-07:00

Benefits and pitfalls of domestic violence courts: Part 1 rabble.ca

Of major importance- to listen to and think about-other parts available at that site-

Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime :: Newletter

2010-10-26T14:40:00.000-07:00

Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime :: Newletter

Fine group of people.

Crisis in the Family Court PSA

2010-10-26T14:26:00.000-07:00

The One Click Group - News Archives

2010-10-22T20:09:00.000-07:00

The One Click Group - News Archives

2010-10-22T20:07:00.000-07:00

The One Click Group - News Archives

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

2010-10-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

Rights for Mothers Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

Read it and weep. But first, BELIEVE. Like the Russell Williams case- no-one suspected the guy to be so twisted, so ill. Imagine if his wife had suspected and had seen something. She would have been labeled dysfunctional, lying and applying tactics of alienation. Read carefully. This mother lost custody in an ex parte motion.(she was not present and didn't know) She found out when her daughter was taken. Six years on down that sorry road, the mother gets visitation. Which is totally undermined and blockaded by the ex. Sounds/reads SO familiar. Report an abuse=lose custody.

Williams Unseen

2010-10-19T14:21:00.000-07:00

The entire world is watching the Williams trial. All the usual talking heads and absolutely everyone is -sharing their opinion. So, time for mine. I think his very nice pension should go to the assault and murder victims/families. I feel badly for his wife.

What strikes me the most in all of this- is the absolute fact that it is NOT possible to foresee, predict or even notice when someone is this twisted. It is a very good thing that this fact is being pointed out and discussed - at least by the tv media in Canada.

BECAUSE : when a mother (for example) reports the abuses she and/or her children are experiencing, there is a marked tendency to disbelieve her and disbelieve the children. Disbelief at least in part because the twistedness is not apparent. So we have so many already wounded children being given in custody to their abuser. The victim mother then gets to pay child support and sometimes more, to an abuser.

I for one, am exceptionally grateful to the prosecutors in this case, for supplying so many lurid details to the court. This may spur the "law" to place a ruling of dangerous offender. This psycho should never be free. I am also grateful for the supplying of details as it MAY serve to enlighten some systems- like social services systems., Some may begin to realize that one cannot play nice with a father/husband who is so twisted. Some MAY begin to realize that they should LISTEN to mothers who report abuse. Some may even realize or begin to think about the insanity of alienation theories being automatically applied whenever a child or mother speaks of abuse. Some thinking people may begin to question the motives behind the people who so loudly screech about false allegations. The concept of automatic shared parenting is equally ludicrous. Is it logical to have shared parenting when none or little existed before ? How about his child/ren , if there had been some, visiting dear old daddy Williams ?

Only thinking people will question. Only people with enough emotional intelligence to have some compassion and empathy will think about all that. Only those with a modicum of integrity will even begin to question.

It is heartrending that the victims' families were exposed to these details. I imagine they were warned. I hope so.

Intergenerational Impact of Ongoing Molestation…McNeill/Vargas case « Let'sGetHonestBlog

2010-10-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

Intergenerational Impact of Ongoing Molestation…McNeill/Vargas case « Let'sGetHonestBlog

Ohhh- this is GOOD ! The ex who abused my son and 2 girls, once told me he was afraid the son would grow up to kill him. That's the ex who got custody. Guess what he did to children after.

October 17, 1986/ October 17, 2010.

2010-10-14T22:49:00.000-07:00

The date my soul died with a silent scream.

24 years ago today, my soul was wrenched from my being and shattered.

For seven years I had phoned and spoken to police, doctors, ministers, priests - anyone who could help me stop him from beating me and abusing all my children. Could stop him from sodomizing my babies. Stop him from abusing animals.Stop him. Help us. Nothing.

So I find a job and seek divorce. I have temporary custody. I move us to a safer place. By mortgaging the properties I have. There are 4. One for each child and one for me. For them to have a heritage to sell or live in.

His psychologist has recommended custody to the abusive brute. Again. The first judge threw it out and requested another "expertise". The police, doctor, psychiatrist, a social worker, neighbours, minister- a veritable parade of people have come to the court to speak of our experiences at the hands of this abuser. One psychologist vs. how many ?

Another social worker decides I am lying , or am psychotic or my son has been abusing - or- I don't know to this day exactly why she recommended custody to a brutal abuser. The report she gave me was all whatever the abuser told her. There was nothing correct in it. Not even the distance between homes. It would have been laughable if it hadn't been a death sentence for our souls.

October 17, 1986. The five year old wanted to dress up for a "kind of party at school". Unusual- she runs back to give me yet another kiss before getting on the bus. The seven year old wouldn't go to bed the night before. She insisted on following me around as I worked on my teaching papers. She wouldn't go to school in the morning, claiming a queasy stomach.

October 17, 1986, 12:05 p.m. The door knocker is banging wildly. Importantly. Too noisily. I look through the security peephole. I see a policeman whom I know. I know them all, after years of calling and reporting. Undo all the locks. A strange young man in "workie" clothes pushes the door in and jams his workboot in the space as I try to shut the door-. What is THIS ??? He says; " I am here to take xxxxxxx to her father Madame." (we speak in French) Open the door. The policeman looks like he will faint or vomit.

I tell this strangely intense young man to remove his foot. In my best teacher talking to an out-of control child voice. He says : "What are you going to do ?" I tell him, I will ask my child to go up to my room and turn on the tv there. Guess he saw something in my eyes. He removes his foot. Shut door. My beloved always - oh - so - pale child goes upstairs like a ghost.

I phone a neighbour friend. I can hardly dial. My entire body is shaking. Friend comes. I tell her- he says he is to bring xxxxxxx to her father but there are no papers or judgement. Nothing. She verbally blasts the young man- in English. Well- he would understand the tone.

Finally he tells me to go upstairs and tell the child she is to go and live with her father. (From her behaviour, she already knew- but I didn't) I said. No. I will NOT tell a child she has to go and live with her abuser. It is insanity. You tell her. Before you do, write down what you are doing here and why. Sign and date it. He did. I had no paper or warning - nothing - I had phoned my lawyer. Of course- it was noon and the offices were closed.

And then my soul walked out the door and that was it.

This paper is marching with a friend, in Rimouski. Symbolic. To carry our silent screams to the Marche Mondiale des Femmes. On October 17, 2010.

Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls

2010-10-12T22:16:00.000-07:00

Report of the APA Task Force on the Sexualization of Girls

Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med -- Household, Family, and Child Risk Factors After an Investigation for Suspected Child Maltreatment: A Missed Opportunity for Prevention, October 2010, Campbell et al. 164 (10): 943

2010-10-12T15:33:00.000-07:00

Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med -- Household, Family, and Child Risk Factors After an Investigation for Suspected Child Maltreatment: A Missed Opportunity for Prevention, October 2010, Campbell et al. 164 (10): 943

It is hardly believable !!!!!!!!!!!! A Dr. Abraham B. Bergman ,who works out of the Harborview Medical Center in Seattle states in an article (see Rights for Mothers: Child Abuse Investigations . . .), that child abuse, because it is a crime, should be investigated by the police , and child services should not be engaged in law enforcement. There are thousands upon thousands of ordinary but logical, thinking people who will totally agree. They have been saying it for decades ! Bravo to Dr.Bergman. Bravo to Nicholas Bakalar who wrote the article in the New York Times. Bravo to Rights for Mothers foir finding and posting this.

Invisible Chains: Canada's Underground World of Human Trafficking: Amazon.ca: Benjamin Perrin: Books

2010-10-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

Invisible Chains: Canada's Underground World of Human Trafficking: Amazon.ca: Benjamin Perrin: Books

Reported Crimes

2010-10-10T17:17:00.000-07:00

The flashbacks are coming fast and furious. Don't know why. Here's the latest one. It has been intruding frequently lately. Maybe if I write it, it will subside.

Driving the older daughter back from - school ? Can't remember. Come over the hill where a long ago owner drove a lane through an even older cemetary.Stop. That slimy driver of a truck that sells bread and doughnuts, is parked so I cannot drive into my own yard. Yes, it was my place. Inherited. All 126 acres and private lake of it. I wait, truck running. Trying to make some sense of what I am seeing. Part of me wants to drive away and never return. Disappear. Can't. Youngest daughter is there. Her father was "babysitting" her while I worked. Whatever is going on, I know it has to be -sick and criminal. Can't leave youngest . So I wait. Youngest daughter suddenly appears from out of the truck and runs, limping slightly, into the house. She is holding something in her hands. Runs as though in pain.

A short while later, the bread truck moves ahead a bit. I drive in and past. Out of truck. Older daughter and I whip into house and upstairs to my daughters' bedroom. (They are- 4 and 6 ?) or younger. Can't recall.

Youngest is there- sitting on floor. Older sits beside her. I look cautiously out the window. Two guys could kill us all and say crazy mother ran away with girls. The two are standing just behind the truck. Probably waiting to see if the youngest will "talk". No worry- she has already said to me at age - 3 ? "I don't want you to die, Mommy." Eventually the bread truck leaves. I can't remember the rest of the day or night. The terror tends to do that- mess up memory.

The dress she had on, was new. I had scrimped and saved and bought it. She never wore it again. Years later, I had hung it on "their" door- each place I lived, while fleeing him. Then one day- I looked at it -and this memory came back. Down came the dress. She had been running "funny" because one or more likely, both child abusers had hurt her genital/anal area. She had been carrying her underpants.

If social services had listened to me, to the police, to the doctor etc., they could have helped us. Maybe. They are called protection- (of youth) What a sick joke THAT is. If they had listened and acted, they would have broken that pedo ring sooner. There was the bread man- (x called him Jimmy), and the photographer for children- he travelled around with his backdrops etc.- and the guy who lived - a few kilometres away- he liked little boys. The police did get the doctor (not ours)- years later. Blondin- he went to prison.(the x switched to Blondin, AFTER he got custody. Girls told me, on a rare visit. I told social services.Nothing) Actually, the then head of the social services team told me that it was often better.

The federal government is making noises about unreported crime. Well- shut down the social services. They are responsible for a lot. I hear it constantly. The last thing anyone wants to do,if you have children, is report needing help for food or a place to stay- or sexual abuse etc. They will recommend the abusers get custody. And- get this- if you don't report, you lose custody because you didn't report.(it is the law) If you do report, you will not be believed, treated like a criminal, and worst, your children will be sent to their abuser.