Do I have to go- wails my 5 year old, while clutching me so hard she left red marks. I have learned to exist in a place called Survival, which means(among hundreds of actions) I must answer every question from everyone and anyone, truthfully and evenly with no emotion. Yes, I respond. Why ? My answer. Because the judge said so. I don't say : I know this being sexually abused you from 6 months on. I know he tried to kill me- which your sister saw. I know he passed you around to other men to abuse- I know I reported to police and medical authorities for all of your short life- I know. But social services seem to not have been alerted- although they came to the house- but- one wrote : file closed-matter resolved.It wasn't, so I went for divorce. No-one would help us - so I had to continue. No, I don't tell a 5 year old that, An already traumatized 5 year old. The criminal is bellowing in the street " oh you brainwashed her -"
(totally disregarding the intelligence and courage of this child.)
I won't tell a hurt 5 year old ,that the whole world as she knows it is against her, except her siblings and her mother.I don't yet know that she will lose her mother, her siblings (except for one abused sister) her clothes,her home- her pets- everything.And then she will have to forget great sections of her soul- gouged out by our insane society that never, it seems, listens to an abused mother or a child.
So when I read the verbalizations of a Warshak and his -cultlike followers still blathering on- while my now adult children along with hundreds if not thousands of others,careen and stagger their way through their lives; I relive that and hundreds of other soul destroying scenes from my/our past lives.
The use of these theories leads to daily ,reprehensible events for non-abusing protective mothers and their abused children. It is insanity. It is a war against any semblance of a humane and evolved society.It is criminal. It is a human rights abomination.
Some men seem to feel that we who have been totally disempowered as humans, are "wrong" because some only write about females. It is my firm belief that I must not write about that of which I have no knowledge. I am not male- so do not presume to be able to write about males. That, they must do for themselves.
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