Tuesday, April 28, 2009

P.F. You are Fabulous !!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, April 28, 2009 there is an article by Kirk Makin, justice reporter for the Globe and Mail- that begins on the front page When an 18- year - old man arrived for a birthday dinner at his mother's house . . . . .

More later- BUT this young man and those who were perhaps "with" him- have shown more intelligence and integrity than those proponents of slimy theories that destroy the human soul. To say nothing of the budget. Fidler and others who support invented theories proposed by a pro- pedophilia psychologist - HAH- imagine that- some of us have more intelligence and morality than the whole gaggle of you together.

This young man should be awarded a governor general's medal for service to the community of humans. I am absolutely - re-vitalized- to hear that these children (his younger brothers) and his mother may finally begin to just - -live and work and study- without the spectre of snake oil salesmen out to destroy them.

May the force continue to be with you ,young man ! Heads up lawyers- I would call this a most healthy precedent to be cited.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Irena Sendler and our children

Tonight I watched a film,made in 2009,which portrays an aspect of the Warsaw ghetto during the second World War.and the decent and courageous acts of Irena Sendler. She saved 2500 children from death.

As always, it is the accounts of how some people managed to survive the genocide-that keeps me -resolved to live.Frequently, I avoid watching films like this- as the visual images tend to make me ill.I read their accounts instead. But this one, I watch.

WHAM. There it is- that punch in the gut that leaves me without breath Just like then. October 17,1986.12: 02 p.m.

It is a scene in the movie when a Gestapo official knocks on the door.Irena opens the door,another man comes with the officer.

October 17, 1986 A knock on the door. There is a strange man there, dressed in jeans,a plaid shirt and big worker boots-the kind my husband used to kick me with. With steel toes. This man sticks his foot in the door so I cannot close it. Behind him is a policeman-whom I recognize. He was often one of two who scooped me off the road when I had fled to avoid a continued beating.

The strange and aggressive man says he is there to take my 7 year old girl to live with her father. There is no judgement. I have no judgement. I have been to court a zillion times- but have no judgement and no news. I tell him to take his foot out of my door.Thank god there is a policeman there. He says why. I say-so I can close the door. It takes several REALLY firm statements on my part,before he does.Before he does- he says in a quaky voice- what are you going to do. I say- I am going to ask my child to go upstairs.Guess he knows the policeman will arrest HIM if he pushes through me- he removes his foot. I close the door.

I ask my child to go up to my room.She refused to go to school today. She knew. She has known for a month or more. (I realized years later)She goes-as if she is going to her death. Which- in so many ways,she was.

She asked why. I told her there was a strange man at the door and I did not want her to hear what I might say to him.

The two men come in. I can remember that I phoned my lawyer- but,of course, it was lunch-no-one in.I phoned a friend up the street. She came. I remember my child said she wanted lunch. I made a sandwich.

Finally- the man says- tell her she is going to her father's now-and to get some things she wants.

(me)" Oh NO. I will NOT tell my child she has to go and live with her abuser."(sexual,emotional,psychological)She also witnessed him try to kill me. YOU tell her. It is on YOUR heads. And before you do- you will write down on this legal pad, what your name is and what you are doing here.And sign it. He did. I still have it.Unless it has self-incinerated.Paper from hell.

And that was the end for life as we knew it.For me and my children.I subsequently lost all my properties,jobs,antiques,furnishings etc. Gone. The abuser continued his harassment. I finally left the country. Just to survive.

So- there is, of course a difference in magnitude.Of people destroyed. But the individual anguish and behavior of social workers- is the same as the anguish of one family,their children-and the use of force, in that scene in the movie.

All because I reported and reported and reported all our abuses- and our animals-some shot- some died from acts of bestiality.

I always paid child support- but via a government agency- to avoid contact with the abuser.
Children- hardly ever saw them again.Now ? I believe I know which cities they are in.

You see, apparently the social services did not believe: me,the children.the police, the doctor the psychiatrist ,neighbours etc. Seems the SS (social sevices) thought I was inventing and had made all the above mentioned people- believe a fantasy.Despite hospital reports-semen in a child's underwear etc.They thought I was suffering from PAS/PA. That I pushed all these people to "lie".

I wish Irena Sendler could have lived near us. Maybe she could have saved my children.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Song For My Lost Children

There was a time when men were kind,
And their voices were soft,
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.
There was a time when it all went wrong . . . . .


I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hope was high and life worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that life would be forgiving.
Then I was younger and less afraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine untasted.
But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart,
And they turn your dream to shame.

They slept a summer by my side,
They filled my days with endless wonder . . . . .
They took their childhood in their stride,
But they were gone when autumn came.

And still I dream they'll come to me,
That we will live the years together,
But there are dreams that cannot be,
And there are storms we may not weather.

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living,
So different now from what it seemed . . . . .
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed . . .



Adapted( ?) from the lyrics of I Dreamed a Dream-Les Miserables

Sunday, April 12, 2009

A friend -

I have decided to let my friend write- as : Friend of Cold North Wind. She has no computer- or much of anything- so- when she can- she can come to my place and type in her - thoughts- or memories.She wrote one post today, on Easter Sunday- and then left- too upset to do more.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

The Thousands of Years War

Re: A.G.L. v. K.B.D.

Our ancestors- Neanderthal era- functioned for sheer survival, it is said. An alpha male protected the group-and achieved and kept his status only as long as he was effective in physical strength and cunning in his instinctual fight for survival of his species/genes. We see this behavior still, in mammalian species. Successful alphas- wolves, for example, maintain their position as long as they protect and function within the group. They even put up fences- to mark their territory and warn invaders- thus avoiding open conflict-killing each other- as fighting to kill is detrimental to the survival of the species. Rogue males are excluded from the group- no food is shared-and frequently the rejects die of starvation-or from attacks by other rogue wolves.

As evolution continues-and evolves- in our human mammalian species- our treatment of and behavior towards the rogues- the corrupt-the twisted-the rejects, has somehow morphed into an incomprehensible inability to recognize and properly (safely) deal with the predators.

I personally would rather have an alpha male wolf urinate around his territory (the fence), than try to survive an attack of human predators-rogues dressed up in psychology and misogyny.

Ripping children away from the only constant parent they have known- and placing them with an alleged abuser, to me, is beyond utter madness. I am reminded of a documentary I saw this year, showing a rogue(rejected) male chimpanzee, kidnapping a baby from its mother.I fail to see any difference between that filmed episode and what is done to some children, in our society.(The alpha males got him- and got the baby back- the baby died)Sound familiar ?

Instead of raping women and children and looting and pillaging their shelters and food supplies etc.- we do the same- but use words and offensive theories to wreak destruction.

The scorched earth policy of- marauding males in war. Leave nothing standing- especially the women/mothers. Our survival instincts ,in some, have become corrupted,twisted and evil.

What is achieved, is devastation. We are devolving.

Friday, April 3, 2009

An Old Refrain

With the advent of spring - an old refrain is playing louder. Perhaps some readers will recognize it.

Once upon a time and still - a rape victim often heard or read :

"You shouldn't have gone out with him. You should have known. He thought you wanted it. "

"Didn't you realize you shouldn't have gone to that party ? bar / restaurant ? parking spot ? part of town ? building ? " prom ? "

"Well, anyone who dresses like that, is just asking for it - - leaves a window or balcony door cracked open etc. - should have known better."

"She couldn't have fought back too hard - she can walk and talk. Maybe she invited him in and changed her mind. "

"So- what was she doing leaving the library after dark ? "Why didn't she scream for help ? "

"Well-have you seen the way she walks - talks - smiles - laughs - cracks jokes - etc."

You know - I saw her drink a glass of wine at her birthday party - parents' anniversary party - on the patio with a girlfriend -. She was probably drunk. So what's a guy to think ? "

Place responsibility for the crime - on the victim.

Then we heard: the baby was so cute - it was just his way of expressing love. He didn't realize it would hurt her - change her development - infect her abdomen - kill her from the tearing in the intestine. He thought she was just sleeping.

Then : well- you know how seductive toddlers and children can be. After all, he/she kept wanting to sit on his lap. I mean - really- what's a guy to think ?

And from pedophiles and pro-pedophiles - "Sex before eight or it's too late."

Now - the 6 year old and up can buy thongs - wear what an earlier generation would call "prossie" clothes. Check in the stores in your friendly family mall - check certain dolls - observe some advertisements -

As for teens - well - hey - they are adults - they have adult bodies.

Now - more and more, we hear : she falsely accused me of sexually abusing my kids - she is keeping my kids from me she is alienating my kids - etc. ad nauseum.

Finally - I can't let my kids suffer her trying to protect them from me-after all- they are mine- to do with as I see fit- not her. So I choose to keep them just for me. That will show her. I choose to kill them. If I can't have them, no-one can. They are MINE. Only I can choose what to do to them. She has driven me to this.

I can't live without them. And if some stupid judge listens to her and doesn't understand how she drove me to the brink. I had better join them. It's all her fault. They will see that, after I'm gone.

Any part of this song sound familiar ? It is played daily.