Mish Mash

There are things I know that inhabit my mind and soul and serve to waken me or stun me back into the time and place of the events. They come unbidden to tear again at me. If I am driving or in a meeting or trying to pay a purchase, they put me into a forgetting- of the moment. I end up driving somewhere I had not intended. I lose my train of thought in the meeting or stop functioning effectively in the language of that meeting. I forget my blasted PIN number and have to hold up a long line of people while I search for the number I have secreted somewhere to deal with these PTSD symptoms.

There are things I remember. The child rapist tells me he is taking my then small son 6? 7? 8? and looking 5, to help him with wood. I don't like it at all, but I had a small baby in the house and the cr was capable of killing me. The cr comes back after a while, without my son. Heart clutch. Has he killed him ? I must remain calm- there is a baby upstairs. He says- I came back for tea-he is piling wood. He has that look on his face- a sort of cruel perverse smug "I gotcha" look. I MUST remain calm. He sits there for a long time. After- I don't know how long, a strange car pulls up. Out gets a man -in his- 50's ? wearing one of those "old time" fur hats-. He has glasses. My son gets out of the passenger side. The man says something to him. My son comes to the house - walking stiff legged- with what has been descibed as the thousand yard stare. Past me, inside, upstairs to his room.I must have gone outside. The man says to me that he lives near where the cr was working and heard the child crying so he brought him home. I know he is lying. I cannot conceive of why. I go upstairs. My son is in his room- the rest is still blank. The man talked briefly to the cr-. Then left.

Some time later, I put it all together. You see, the cr did not just trade/sell my two daughters (only one ?) he also sold my son. And the son's father , who left and divorced me, supported the cr . Supported a child rapist and refused to pay for his school etc.( I refused to ask for alimony- I knew he would torture us-or me) Supported the cr when I went for divorce FROM the cr, and lost custody of two small traumatized girls to the cr.  Did I report ? Of course. The social services did nothing except push for family therapy. Insane. Or part of a porn/child sex ring.  That's one tiny example of what comes to torture me daily and nightly. I have achieved a couple of things though. The cr who tried to kill me, did not succeed- in or out of the marriage. I think he is dead but I have no confirmation. The supporter is dead .

The college fund I began for children, the properties I was working to pay for so I could leave them to the children- all gone. Lost. They succeeeded in losing me my jobs -properties- everything. Absolutely everything. But- they NEVER got my spirit. They never will. So, when I listen to our present government blathering about crime rates etc. , to me, they are blithering idiots. I am soothed that I am not alone in thinking this.I wonder if intrafamilial child sexual abuse will be recognized as such- in my lifetime. Recognized by social services and courts etc.  I don't think so. Not in my lifetime. There are literally thousands and thousands of divorced mothers, whose children at the very least, are twisted up in their development, by this - shared parenting concept. All THAT idea is, is to reduce child support payments. At the worst- there are cases like ours.

Canada News Centre - MESSAGE - International Children's Rights Day

Canada News Centre - MESSAGE - International Children's Rights Day

A must read. This intelligent ,educated human who speaks and writes with comprehension and empathy; should be more widely heard and read. (as if there were time !)

My opinions on children's rights, are more narrow in scope- sort of. My concern is in the area of separation and divorce. Specifically -those divorces which are called "high conflict".
What I have learned:
The majority of divorces are settled- often via mediation if needed- . The "rights" of all parties seem - protected. It is the divorces where one party was in fact, abusing the wife and children. The divorces where there is a constant unremitting series of court appearances to- obtain joint or shared custody-or, in cases of -abusers further on the continuum of abuse - the quest for total custody.These are the cases where the rights of the children are NEVER considered.The constant turmoil is, in itself,an abuse.
Who are abusers ? They can be anyone- from any walk of life. One constant is: they are predominately male.

Has there been an -upsurge of these cases ? (go back 25 years) Yes. It coincides rather neatly with the changes governments made- that the non-custodial parent absolutely must pay child support.(governments made these changes in an attempt to reduce welfare rolls- the number of mothers with children-on welfare. It was not altuism.

There is also a coincidental (? )increase in the noise made by some fathers' rights groups as well as drum beating by proponents of that pro-pediphile idea- pas- pa ,or just alienation- as some of the snake oil salesmen like to call it now. (too many know the provenance of these ideas)

And- of course- if one can "prove" alienation- there are some waiting anxiously in the wings- to provide "therapy" to- un alienate the child ! Yeah. Right.

I am very clear on how I see all of THAT. And my opinion is not acceptable in writing -on a blog. It has to do with greed. And no ethics.

Did others notice that some people now are screeching FOR "automatic" shared parenting ? At the same time the Australian government is revising its practice of "equal" parenting- of the last six ? years. Too many deaths of mothers and children. The final straw was little Darcy Freeman. Dear old dad stopped his vehicle on a bridge-plucked the tiny girl out and threw her off the bridge. In front of two young sons. Another funeral.

Do these children enjoy their basic human rights ? Did they ? There are dozens of similar cases,ending in death. In every case, examined AFTER the fact- (deaths) there was found a series of clear warnings- of abusive and dangerous behavior. A "psychologist" or social worker easily or purposefully "misses" these signals- and- the deaths continue.

Is this what the silent majority wishes for Canada ?????