Chilling 1

It is a wondrous thing. My life. One long scratching for survival or, just to be left alone in peace. Lay off the incessant demands.Even as a tiny toddler still in a crib, I had a mind of my own. So when I was fed boiled prunes ,little brown slugs floating in their nasty-looking brown juice, I got up- wobbled to the window and without too much stretching, tipped them out the window !

So at age six, when a man dressed in what I told the police ,were "soldier clothes", tried to lure me onto the side running board of his car- to see "something interesting"- I pretended to step on the board. Caught a glimpse of something that resembled the gross whitish bloated grubs that ate the vegetable garden plants. Milliseconds before he roared off- gunning the engine and disappeared around the corner.Minutes before, as I had crossed a street, he rolled up beside me and called through the open window- "Take down your pants". True to form, I had yelled NO and thought- boy- how weird is THAT-.

The subtle and the not at all subtle harassment continued and escalated as I matured.To the point where I could not understand why any girl/woman would WANT a date on Saturday night, much less any other night. By 19 I had pretty much given up on dating. It was in no way a pleasure to be fighting off tentacle hands guys groping and/or being called names I had never heard- . Lesbian. Was that someone who wouldn't just F##k a guy because HE wanted to ??? Some did not behave like cavemen- but, I was keen on my job and interested in almost -everything- and had girl after girl arriving at my apartment, with 1-3 babies and toddlers, asking to stay the night. I had irate husbands who pounded on my door the next day or night demanding to see their wives. These girls, with whom I had been to college, often had visible bruises. I just was- the dumb blonde- "Who ? oh- haven't seen her since college. You are her husband ? Oh -congratulations ! You are so lucky. " etc. They would slink off growling.At 20 I bought a piece of land. 20- 26 I don't remember much- I was working, content, had a job, car apartment, cat etc. To please my aging parents, who were increasingly worried because I was not married (they came from a world that required a man to "take care of" a wife and children". Decent people.): I accepted yet another marriage proposal from someone who seemed stable- my parents "accepted" him. And that was the beginning of the end -

Ladybug

Ladybug !  Ladybug !
   Fly away yon.
 Your houses are on fire.
And your children all gone.


Little did I know as a young child chanting the unchanged version of this nursery rhyme- that after I was married -all this would become true.

For some reason, I was thinking about how marriage is presented -and was- . It was presented, by society, as the union of two people for their comfort and care for each other- and the nurturing of children. Except- I never "bought" the idea. All through my early twenties, on my own- apartment, car, pets, friends- job- ; I had a constant exposure to late night frantic knockings on my door- young women who had been at college with me, with 1-3 children- tiny children in tow- asking if they could stay the night- . And at work- mothers found- asking if they could come into the school to get warm- their husbands had thrown them out- in the cold- and their young sons would not let them in .

So- why did I marry ? I felt for my aging parents- they were of a generation that believed marriage was - "it" for a young woman- . They died not so long after- good thing. They were decent to me-and I was not abused- .I believe they would have been horrified if they had known -known that the young man they thought was decent- was absolutely- NOT.

Even after he left- he wouldn't. More than 35 years later - he still crawls around- he is on his third marriage.
I married a second time - to 1.) keep him away (didn't work) 2. Was pregnant- even though doctors had told me I never could again - and 3. in order to remain on the property my parents had left me- I had to have -a male around. No. 1 talked all around the rural area- how I was a drunk and a loose woman- (neither correct) and- I had a young child to protect as well as myself. His talking brought every creep to my door. The police were constantly coming. Then a baby on the way to protect. Couldn't help anyone else -if I was- destroyed.

So- no2 got together with no 1- .Number 2 was a wife beater and a child rapist- and practised bestiality. What does that make the first- ? At the very least- accessory to crimes.

So- now there are no husbands , and no children and no properties-that I could have left my children. And- the children are gone- in varying degrees- into that nether land of- psychosis and Stockholm Syndrome and- just like the abuser said- Mummy is a bitch - land.

Every non-abusing mother I have met in person or via the Internet- all- who have lost custody- as I did -of the two most victimized/abused -we are ALL "crazy" or bitches-. Now- what is it about marriage that (apparently-) changes decent intelligent non abusing working women/mothers -into instant "bitches" the second they indicate they don't like being beaten up. experiencing attempted murder, dragging their raped children to doctors and police- etc. Finding pets dead because of bestiality. Why weren';t we all told- that this was what marriage is ???? What is this huge cover-up? What purpose does it serve ? To produce more- screwed up twisted up- psychotic individuals ? Some of whom like to set houses and barns on fire ?

Well- I don't comprehend it. And will never. So- I will stick to a -somewhat reclusive life- and care for lost animals as best I can.

My name is  Ladybug.

Women Don’t Want to Get Married and Have Children Because It’s A Lot of Work: Who is Surprised? « Unasked Advice

Women Don’t Want to Get Married and Have Children Because It’s A Lot of Work: Who is Surprised? « Unasked Advice


Levity- but not really. This writer didn't know who Glenn something was ? ! Oh my- he (Glenn) says he speaks for one of the greatest social and health disasters plaguing America today: namely- the misogynist male. (the virus exists in other places too- but not as web present.This blog writer ain't seen nuthin yet !)

The writer reminds me of me- when I seemingly insulted a male colleague-and sent a female colleague into gales of laughter (vive la difference !) -the poor fellow had asked me -(by way of a compliment I suppose- thank you ! )- why I looked and seemed so young for my age. To which I honestly replied (one of my weaknesses-honesty) - "I stopped being married-and didn't marry for long-"

Well- I know there is genetics and real food etc. involved- but- really- I have never been so miserable and put down ,as when I was married. I became a whipping girl- especially for no.2 (I know- but -I was still naive-it's my parents'; fault- they were very decent people)-and then lost EVERYTHING to the 2 - the abuser. I'm talking criminal, life threatening behavior- to all the children,animals and -woman- in range.

Even single life- running and hiding and paying for children- while knowing they were -severely wounded- etc.- still- better- hiding OUTSIDE the prison- than being chained inside-with no hope of even life itself. No 1 supported- still does I suppose- this criminal. Now- what would one call that ? Misogyny ? or just- atrocious hateful behaviour ? I digress. But- read some of Glennie's stuff- and it is just like listening to an X -or 2.

I wouldn't call it marriage - -many times- there are other words more apt-

That's why some women have their children- but with NO relationship. Something I really thought about- but- I was born too soon-

Well - broke harvard person who wrote this piece- thank you !