Five Months and Five days Old

That's how old his baby was when the father took her . Took her to a house and sodomized his baby.


The woman in front of me has recently had the kaleidoscope pieces of fractured memory, click together. She had telephoned the police that night her baby was taken and traumatized. Her soul had refused to connect the date of the call,  with what she knew later. Until now.


He had come back with the baby, saying she screamed so much that he had to bring her back. The baby was like a gray rag doll. No muscle tone. When the terrified mother changed her diaper, there was a burned red mark around the anus, as if a red hot 2 dollar coin had been held there. With a convulsion, the baby expelled an amount of whitish,  slimy liquid. The mother said she thought it was diarrhoea. She said that she felt unreal.That she thought it wasn't diarrhoea but could not conceive of the possibility that anyone could do this to a baby. She thinks now that some primal part of her being "knew" what he had done, but that her mind and soul simply could not understand it. But the date she phoned the police is burned into her brain. For the later realization.



The anguish she still lives does not show - except in her eyes. I cannot look too much. The anguish reflected there is too much for me to experience. I can only listen. And record.


She had told the father she was worried sick about the baby's health. She wanted to take her to the hospital. He said no. As he was murderously violent, she acquiesced. She couldn't help the baby if the mother was killed. She took the baby a couple of days later.The baby wouldn't eat or drink. She tells me that years later she learned that rapists know that babies and children heal quickly. He had wanted her to wait so the doctors wouldn't see the raw red friction burn mark.


Now the tears come. Silently. Running down her face. This tears my heart to shreds.


And- what happened after, I ask.  He never stopped. He particularly went after the next baby. Committed the same crime around the same age. Then groomed her. A bitter laugh. I learned a whole new vocabulary in the following years. Grooming, dry humping etc. I never stopped asking for help- and nothing ever happened.  I had told everyone who by law, was supposed to act to protect the children. A social worker came to the house and asked him if he beat me, she continues. He had said yes, she needed it.Another came later and recommended family therapy and wrote a report on housekeeping.Nothing. So she went for divorce. And lost custody.


She told me how the first baby had told and tried and tried to escape/stop the abuse. She told me how the youngest had tried also. They had all tried.


And now - - -I dare to ask. I don't know. I think they are all alive (there was an older third who was also abused-differently) I think there is an unusual- complicated contact with one or both . But I don't know. Not for sure.


As I type this, it is dripping rain. I imagine it to be that mother's tears, falling gently. I hope they fall on those children, now adults and help them realize the love that mother has always had for them. Maybe that knowledge might help mitigate the grave injustice our world dealt them.

Chaos Theory: The Twelve Days of Christmas Gifts

Chaos Theory: The Twelve Days of Christmas Gifts




Well now- not often we have a glimpse of the kind of situation that usually flies "under the radar"  - -
A dark- post from Chaos Theory. Dark- but if no-one sees/hears or knows there is a serious problem- nothing will be done to change the fate of so many children - -

ANNIHILATION

Brutal abuses were so constant, that almost anything and everything can launch me back into the black abyss of desperation.

An article arrives . It is a report about an Australian man who has been condemned to prison for nine years or more, for strangling his wife's cat. (among other brutalities) There was a child from this union.I am not even through the entire article -and -  back I go . Blasted back into hell again.

My eldest daughter, not yet a year and a half old and non-verbal- but very expressive, had dragged me into a pet store in the shopping mall. She had heard a kitten yolping.Home came a little black morsel of fur. Who grew up and had a litter of kittens.

One was kept - and grew to be a superb  long haired mostly black cat lady with white boots and whiskers/antennae. Sweet , calm and affectionate.

This adored pet died young.Result of bestiality by x.  The x who got full custody of two already deeply wounded tiny girls.

Small wonder I have little respect for "the law" , bureaucracies etc. specially social services. It was a social worker who did this to us. Of course there were other players. Notably the x's psychologist- a known fathers' rights supporter- x's lawyer- played a major part in the total destruction of- four people and their spiritual and material heritage. I had no money. So it had to be pure evil. Perhaps with a good deal of ignorance mixed into the poison.

The judge believed the psychiatrist, the doctor, the witnesses, me, etc. He did the only thing he could- and ordered another "expertise". (social workers have the power of gods)

Same psychologist same social worker- second time around- different judge- one known to be- "not nice".(words of my lawyer- being diplomatic)

I don't write many original texts on this blog. So many words float around about child custody etc.- that I am sure they are at least partially responsible for global warming. The words don't change what happened. The words don't change what keeps on happening- all over the Western world.

The words don't fix my agonies nor those of my adult children.(they lived through having their mother "disappear" and living with a brute- physically survived-)

That was not the only animal he killed that way. Another- he made his tiny children watch.

ALL children's rights ? in Canada ? NOT

Having learned , so far- that government groups and agencies only perpetuate abuses- to children of DV and CSA and mothers who have survived DV: I finally decided to -look at the website I will post below-,in the hopes that- maybe-just maybe- they are-enlightened.

I know I am fatigued,and rather cynical- and must observe my reactions careffully- to ensure impartiality (possible when one survives the destruction of everything dear to one ?) ; BUT- on a 5 minute look- not a careful in depth read- I saw HEAVY slanting in the choice of articles presented- -as in- the verbiage about Parental Alienation (wake up- this is BANNED from use in courts in many jurisdictions (U.S.) and is massively unscientific-(condemned by APA) -a theory invented by a pedophilic psychologist and happily used and pushed by abusers of mothers and children. It has NO place being shown on a site for children's rights- UNLESS the posts are there with a warning-.We put warnings on bottles of poison-No wonder we hear little from mothers who report their children's abuses- they are not believed- slammed with PAS or similar nonsense-and they and the children are thrown in the trash.

I may go back and read more carefully- when I recover from the familiar nausea that assails me when I see yet ANOTHER agency/organisation that appears pro-pedophile-read to ensure I am not over-reacting. Actually- it is not possible to over-react- when one sees-PAS. Unless,of course, you think pedophilia is just fine-.Incest is healthy etc. Our children who most need help- are doomed. Still.



http://www.canadiancrc.com

I wonder if our/my tax dollars fund this - - -WARNING may injure your health and that of your children. Correction: FURTHER injure.