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Thursday 20 December 2012
Monday 10 December 2012
Friday 7 December 2012
Monday 3 December 2012
Sunday 2 December 2012
Friday 23 November 2012
Tuesday 20 November 2012
Monday 19 November 2012
Friday 16 November 2012
Monday 12 November 2012
Tuesday 23 October 2012
Monday 22 October 2012
Monday 8 October 2012
Triggers/rant
Some are known and can be foreseen . Many cannot. One must be on constant alert to check and doublecheck all reactions so as to ensure there is not an over-reaction to some word or sentence or facial expression.It is exhausting.
This one hit out of the blue. The Supreme Court decision on "low risk" HIV infection and the need to inform a partner did it. More correctly, the discussions after in a newspaper, did me in. I cannot even remember the content of the article or comments, except for the one word that set off the avalanche of desperate , intensely sad reactions. Clamydia. A sexually transmitted disease.
That was what my x beating battering child abusing animal abusing thieving piece of criminality gave me. And gave to some children he had - contact with. All of that suffering un necessary. Lives mangled and destroyed thanks to a crown prosecutor who refused to lay charges when the police asked. Thanks to the youth destruction group who helped the child rapist.wife beater/attempted murder thing/bestiality practitioner/thief criminal.
He had a vasectomy before I managed to sue for divorce (since there was no help anywhere). Said to me it was because he loved me. He must have thought I was as stupid as all the insane social workers and psychologists. It was so he would not impregnate his victims. At least one victim took, without needing to- birth control pills for years and years. That alone is not good for the health.
And still some (men) ask me - did I never get a "chum" after divorce. Idiots. What do they think DV is ? The x beat up men too. Democratic abuser. Abuse anything our society lets him hurt. That's a LOT.That's anything and anyone. The Supreme Court is completely UNABLE to judge in matters of human health and welfare. Any law system is. Laws were developed to protect property. As such, they cannot and should not wander blindly into the realms of health and welfare of living entities.
Damn them all to hell.
This one hit out of the blue. The Supreme Court decision on "low risk" HIV infection and the need to inform a partner did it. More correctly, the discussions after in a newspaper, did me in. I cannot even remember the content of the article or comments, except for the one word that set off the avalanche of desperate , intensely sad reactions. Clamydia. A sexually transmitted disease.
That was what my x beating battering child abusing animal abusing thieving piece of criminality gave me. And gave to some children he had - contact with. All of that suffering un necessary. Lives mangled and destroyed thanks to a crown prosecutor who refused to lay charges when the police asked. Thanks to the youth destruction group who helped the child rapist.wife beater/attempted murder thing/bestiality practitioner/thief criminal.
He had a vasectomy before I managed to sue for divorce (since there was no help anywhere). Said to me it was because he loved me. He must have thought I was as stupid as all the insane social workers and psychologists. It was so he would not impregnate his victims. At least one victim took, without needing to- birth control pills for years and years. That alone is not good for the health.
And still some (men) ask me - did I never get a "chum" after divorce. Idiots. What do they think DV is ? The x beat up men too. Democratic abuser. Abuse anything our society lets him hurt. That's a LOT.That's anything and anyone. The Supreme Court is completely UNABLE to judge in matters of human health and welfare. Any law system is. Laws were developed to protect property. As such, they cannot and should not wander blindly into the realms of health and welfare of living entities.
Damn them all to hell.
Tuesday 2 October 2012
Saturday 15 September 2012
Thursday 13 September 2012
Sunday 19 August 2012
Friday 10 August 2012
Five Months and Five days Old
That's how old his baby was when the father took her . Took her to a house and sodomized his baby.
The woman in front of me has recently had the kaleidoscope pieces of fractured memory, click together. She had telephoned the police that night her baby was taken and traumatized. Her soul had refused to connect the date of the call, with what she knew later. Until now.
He had come back with the baby, saying she screamed so much that he had to bring her back. The baby was like a gray rag doll. No muscle tone. When the terrified mother changed her diaper, there was a burned red mark around the anus, as if a red hot 2 dollar coin had been held there. With a convulsion, the baby expelled an amount of whitish, slimy liquid. The mother said she thought it was diarrhoea. She said that she felt unreal.That she thought it wasn't diarrhoea but could not conceive of the possibility that anyone could do this to a baby. She thinks now that some primal part of her being "knew" what he had done, but that her mind and soul simply could not understand it. But the date she phoned the police is burned into her brain. For the later realization.
The anguish she still lives does not show - except in her eyes. I cannot look too much. The anguish reflected there is too much for me to experience. I can only listen. And record.
She had told the father she was worried sick about the baby's health. She wanted to take her to the hospital. He said no. As he was murderously violent, she acquiesced. She couldn't help the baby if the mother was killed. She took the baby a couple of days later.The baby wouldn't eat or drink. She tells me that years later she learned that rapists know that babies and children heal quickly. He had wanted her to wait so the doctors wouldn't see the raw red friction burn mark.
Now the tears come. Silently. Running down her face. This tears my heart to shreds.
And- what happened after, I ask. He never stopped. He particularly went after the next baby. Committed the same crime around the same age. Then groomed her. A bitter laugh. I learned a whole new vocabulary in the following years. Grooming, dry humping etc. I never stopped asking for help- and nothing ever happened. I had told everyone who by law, was supposed to act to protect the children. A social worker came to the house and asked him if he beat me, she continues. He had said yes, she needed it.Another came later and recommended family therapy and wrote a report on housekeeping.Nothing. So she went for divorce. And lost custody.
She told me how the first baby had told and tried and tried to escape/stop the abuse. She told me how the youngest had tried also. They had all tried.
And now - - -I dare to ask. I don't know. I think they are all alive (there was an older third who was also abused-differently) I think there is an unusual- complicated contact with one or both . But I don't know. Not for sure.
As I type this, it is dripping rain. I imagine it to be that mother's tears, falling gently. I hope they fall on those children, now adults and help them realize the love that mother has always had for them. Maybe that knowledge might help mitigate the grave injustice our world dealt them.
The woman in front of me has recently had the kaleidoscope pieces of fractured memory, click together. She had telephoned the police that night her baby was taken and traumatized. Her soul had refused to connect the date of the call, with what she knew later. Until now.
He had come back with the baby, saying she screamed so much that he had to bring her back. The baby was like a gray rag doll. No muscle tone. When the terrified mother changed her diaper, there was a burned red mark around the anus, as if a red hot 2 dollar coin had been held there. With a convulsion, the baby expelled an amount of whitish, slimy liquid. The mother said she thought it was diarrhoea. She said that she felt unreal.That she thought it wasn't diarrhoea but could not conceive of the possibility that anyone could do this to a baby. She thinks now that some primal part of her being "knew" what he had done, but that her mind and soul simply could not understand it. But the date she phoned the police is burned into her brain. For the later realization.
The anguish she still lives does not show - except in her eyes. I cannot look too much. The anguish reflected there is too much for me to experience. I can only listen. And record.
She had told the father she was worried sick about the baby's health. She wanted to take her to the hospital. He said no. As he was murderously violent, she acquiesced. She couldn't help the baby if the mother was killed. She took the baby a couple of days later.The baby wouldn't eat or drink. She tells me that years later she learned that rapists know that babies and children heal quickly. He had wanted her to wait so the doctors wouldn't see the raw red friction burn mark.
Now the tears come. Silently. Running down her face. This tears my heart to shreds.
And- what happened after, I ask. He never stopped. He particularly went after the next baby. Committed the same crime around the same age. Then groomed her. A bitter laugh. I learned a whole new vocabulary in the following years. Grooming, dry humping etc. I never stopped asking for help- and nothing ever happened. I had told everyone who by law, was supposed to act to protect the children. A social worker came to the house and asked him if he beat me, she continues. He had said yes, she needed it.Another came later and recommended family therapy and wrote a report on housekeeping.Nothing. So she went for divorce. And lost custody.
She told me how the first baby had told and tried and tried to escape/stop the abuse. She told me how the youngest had tried also. They had all tried.
And now - - -I dare to ask. I don't know. I think they are all alive (there was an older third who was also abused-differently) I think there is an unusual- complicated contact with one or both . But I don't know. Not for sure.
As I type this, it is dripping rain. I imagine it to be that mother's tears, falling gently. I hope they fall on those children, now adults and help them realize the love that mother has always had for them. Maybe that knowledge might help mitigate the grave injustice our world dealt them.
Sunday 29 July 2012
Led by an innocent into a web of evil - The Boston Globe
Led by an innocent into a web of evil - The Boston Globe
What many mothgers report and seek divorce for- to protect their children. Then they lose custody and/or are forced into shared parenting or visits.
What many mothgers report and seek divorce for- to protect their children. Then they lose custody and/or are forced into shared parenting or visits.
Thursday 26 July 2012
CyberSmokeBlog.blogspot.com
CyberSmokeBlog.blogspot.com
Check out the July 22 post- some informed person sent cybersmoke an excellent video. This blogger (Cybersmoke) appears to have an open mind ! How refreshing !
Live long and prosper Cybersmoke !
Check out the July 22 post- some informed person sent cybersmoke an excellent video. This blogger (Cybersmoke) appears to have an open mind ! How refreshing !
Live long and prosper Cybersmoke !
Wednesday 25 July 2012
The Tyee – Bias Against Abused Mothers in Child Custody Cases: Report
The Tyee – Bias Against Abused Mothers in Child Custody Cases: Report
Well now- does this mean someone is FINALLY listening ???????????????
Well now- does this mean someone is FINALLY listening ???????????????
Monday 25 June 2012
Tuesday 5 June 2012
Most Recent or Active Cases - LEAF: Women's Legal Education and Action Fund
Most Recent or Active Cases - LEAF: Women's Legal Education and Action Fund
This is extremely important for mothers and children - women, in all countries.
This is extremely important for mothers and children - women, in all countries.
Saturday 2 June 2012
Thursday 24 May 2012
Wednesday 23 May 2012
Saturday 19 May 2012
"Let's Fight This Terrible Crime Against Our Children" by Andrew Vachss (Parade): The Zero 5.0laf - The Official Website of Andrew Vachss
"Let's Fight This Terrible Crime Against Our Children" by Andrew Vachss (Parade): The Zero 5.0laf - The Official Website of Andrew Vachss
Andrew Vachss has done, and continues to do, enormous "good" for all children.
Andrew Vachss has done, and continues to do, enormous "good" for all children.
Friday 18 May 2012
Tuesday 15 May 2012
Sunday 13 May 2012
Wednesday 9 May 2012
Tuesday 8 May 2012
Monday 7 May 2012
Sunday 6 May 2012
Saturday 5 May 2012
Friday 4 May 2012
‘Society has moved on and I do not believe this proposal should proceed’ - Beyond The Commons, Capital Read - Macleans.ca#more-255597#more-255597#more-255597
‘Society has moved on and I do not believe this proposal should proceed’ - Beyond The Commons, Capital Read - Macleans.ca#more-255597#more-255597#more-255597
I was transfixed by this- not because the information or logic was new, but because a member of the party in power said it. I did not expect anything logical or ethical to come out of this present government.That alone indicates that I have learned well what to expect from this government - - - -
I was transfixed by this- not because the information or logic was new, but because a member of the party in power said it. I did not expect anything logical or ethical to come out of this present government.That alone indicates that I have learned well what to expect from this government - - - -
Wednesday 2 May 2012
Tuesday 1 May 2012
Thursday 26 April 2012
Wednesday 25 April 2012
No to so-connerie! - Dawg's Blawg (Blog)
No to so-connerie! - Dawg's Blawg (Blog)
Words fail- at Woody's stupidity. At least Dawg can still write about our idiots in power.
Words fail- at Woody's stupidity. At least Dawg can still write about our idiots in power.
Tuesday 24 April 2012
Sunday 22 April 2012
Thursday 19 April 2012
Tuesday 17 April 2012
When Battered Women Lose Custody « Mothers Of Lost Children – Indiana
When Battered Women Lose Custody « Mothers Of Lost Children – Indiana
Mention of Canada and some excellent information applicable in all of North America
Mention of Canada and some excellent information applicable in all of North America
Going, Going, Gone: Dismantling the Progressive State « Alex's Blog
Going, Going, Gone: Dismantling the Progressive State « Alex's Blog
now THIS is veeerrrry interesting-
now THIS is veeerrrry interesting-
Sunday 8 April 2012
Saturday 7 April 2012
Friday 6 April 2012
The Pantsafire Chronicles: special edition - Dawg's Blawg (Blog)
The Pantsafire Chronicles: special edition - Dawg's Blawg (Blog)
lie cheat deceive postulate inane theories dig around in women's bodies build useless gazebos- equate a people gaining personhood with a license to kill, unregistered- this government WILL go down in history. As infamous.
lie cheat deceive postulate inane theories dig around in women's bodies build useless gazebos- equate a people gaining personhood with a license to kill, unregistered- this government WILL go down in history. As infamous.
Wednesday 4 April 2012
Creekside: Fetus Festivus on Parliament Hill
Creekside: Fetus Festivus on Parliament Hill
One of the BEST I have read- Canadian Motley Misogynists-
One of the BEST I have read- Canadian Motley Misogynists-
Tuesday 3 April 2012
Monday 2 April 2012
Stephen Woodworth: CHANGE MY MIND: When Should a Fetus be Recognized as a Child?
Stephen Woodworth: CHANGE MY MIND: When Should a Fetus be Recognized as a Child?
This guy W, has BN virus. (blithering nonsense)
This guy W, has BN virus. (blithering nonsense)
Rape in the Bible
Rape in the Bible
Nothing new - for anyone who has really read the Bible- . Interesting to see a "modern" comment on the subject though .
Nothing new - for anyone who has really read the Bible- . Interesting to see a "modern" comment on the subject though .
Leader's Suicide Reveals Frightening, Violent, Organized Misogyny Movement | | AlterNet
Leader's Suicide Reveals Frightening, Violent, Organized Misogyny Movement | | AlterNet
Going for divorce - because you are beaten and the violent criminal also attacks your children ? This is what you may be up against-
Going for divorce - because you are beaten and the violent criminal also attacks your children ? This is what you may be up against-
Faux Feminist Men and Other Figments (Real and Imagined) | The Feminist Wire
Faux Feminist Men and Other Figments (Real and Imagined) | The Feminist Wire
This analysis is particularly excellent.
This analysis is particularly excellent.
Thursday 29 March 2012
Child incest charges stayed because of cost, delay - The Globe and Mail
Child incest charges stayed because of cost, delay - The Globe and Mail
our children don't count unless they are free- (of cost)
our children don't count unless they are free- (of cost)
Dastardly Dads: Court delays lead to sex assault charges stayed against dad (Vancouver, Canada)
Dastardly Dads: Court delays lead to sex assault charges stayed against dad (Vancouver, Canada)
Another pathetic example of the total lack of - concern? about the health and welfare of mothers and children.
Another pathetic example of the total lack of - concern? about the health and welfare of mothers and children.
Monday 26 March 2012
Saving Damon - Saving Damon from his identified molester
Saving Damon - Saving Damon from his identified molester
Amazing young person. So many thousands do not escape the ravages of extended abuses and are rendered unable/incapable of acting. Thank goodness for Damon !
Amazing young person. So many thousands do not escape the ravages of extended abuses and are rendered unable/incapable of acting. Thank goodness for Damon !
Saving Damon - Saving Damon from his identified molester
Saving Damon - Saving Damon from his identified molester
Amazing young person. So many thousands do not escape the ravages of extended abuses and are rendered unable/incapable of acting. Thank goodness for Damon !
Amazing young person. So many thousands do not escape the ravages of extended abuses and are rendered unable/incapable of acting. Thank goodness for Damon !
Sunday 25 March 2012
Saturday 24 March 2012
Monday 19 March 2012
Saturday 17 March 2012
Friday 16 March 2012
Wednesday 14 March 2012
Friday 9 March 2012
Tuesday 6 March 2012
Sunday 4 March 2012
Saturday 3 March 2012
Tuesday 28 February 2012
Mish Mash
There are things I know that inhabit my mind and soul and serve to waken me or stun me back into the time and place of the events. They come unbidden to tear again at me. If I am driving or in a meeting or trying to pay a purchase, they put me into a forgetting- of the moment. I end up driving somewhere I had not intended. I lose my train of thought in the meeting or stop functioning effectively in the language of that meeting. I forget my blasted PIN number and have to hold up a long line of people while I search for the number I have secreted somewhere to deal with these PTSD symptoms.
There are things I remember. The child rapist tells me he is taking my then small son 6? 7? 8? and looking 5, to help him with wood. I don't like it at all, but I had a small baby in the house and the cr was capable of killing me. The cr comes back after a while, without my son. Heart clutch. Has he killed him ? I must remain calm- there is a baby upstairs. He says- I came back for tea-he is piling wood. He has that look on his face- a sort of cruel perverse smug "I gotcha" look. I MUST remain calm. He sits there for a long time. After- I don't know how long, a strange car pulls up. Out gets a man -in his- 50's ? wearing one of those "old time" fur hats-. He has glasses. My son gets out of the passenger side. The man says something to him. My son comes to the house - walking stiff legged- with what has been descibed as the thousand yard stare. Past me, inside, upstairs to his room.I must have gone outside. The man says to me that he lives near where the cr was working and heard the child crying so he brought him home. I know he is lying. I cannot conceive of why. I go upstairs. My son is in his room- the rest is still blank. The man talked briefly to the cr-. Then left.
Some time later, I put it all together. You see, the cr did not just trade/sell my two daughters (only one ?) he also sold my son. And the son's father , who left and divorced me, supported the cr . Supported a child rapist and refused to pay for his school etc.( I refused to ask for alimony- I knew he would torture us-or me) Supported the cr when I went for divorce FROM the cr, and lost custody of two small traumatized girls to the cr. Did I report ? Of course. The social services did nothing except push for family therapy. Insane. Or part of a porn/child sex ring. That's one tiny example of what comes to torture me daily and nightly. I have achieved a couple of things though. The cr who tried to kill me, did not succeed- in or out of the marriage. I think he is dead but I have no confirmation. The supporter is dead .
The college fund I began for children, the properties I was working to pay for so I could leave them to the children- all gone. Lost. They succeeeded in losing me my jobs -properties- everything. Absolutely everything. But- they NEVER got my spirit. They never will. So, when I listen to our present government blathering about crime rates etc. , to me, they are blithering idiots. I am soothed that I am not alone in thinking this.I wonder if intrafamilial child sexual abuse will be recognized as such- in my lifetime. Recognized by social services and courts etc. I don't think so. Not in my lifetime. There are literally thousands and thousands of divorced mothers, whose children at the very least, are twisted up in their development, by this - shared parenting concept. All THAT idea is, is to reduce child support payments. At the worst- there are cases like ours.
There are things I remember. The child rapist tells me he is taking my then small son 6? 7? 8? and looking 5, to help him with wood. I don't like it at all, but I had a small baby in the house and the cr was capable of killing me. The cr comes back after a while, without my son. Heart clutch. Has he killed him ? I must remain calm- there is a baby upstairs. He says- I came back for tea-he is piling wood. He has that look on his face- a sort of cruel perverse smug "I gotcha" look. I MUST remain calm. He sits there for a long time. After- I don't know how long, a strange car pulls up. Out gets a man -in his- 50's ? wearing one of those "old time" fur hats-. He has glasses. My son gets out of the passenger side. The man says something to him. My son comes to the house - walking stiff legged- with what has been descibed as the thousand yard stare. Past me, inside, upstairs to his room.I must have gone outside. The man says to me that he lives near where the cr was working and heard the child crying so he brought him home. I know he is lying. I cannot conceive of why. I go upstairs. My son is in his room- the rest is still blank. The man talked briefly to the cr-. Then left.
Some time later, I put it all together. You see, the cr did not just trade/sell my two daughters (only one ?) he also sold my son. And the son's father , who left and divorced me, supported the cr . Supported a child rapist and refused to pay for his school etc.( I refused to ask for alimony- I knew he would torture us-or me) Supported the cr when I went for divorce FROM the cr, and lost custody of two small traumatized girls to the cr. Did I report ? Of course. The social services did nothing except push for family therapy. Insane. Or part of a porn/child sex ring. That's one tiny example of what comes to torture me daily and nightly. I have achieved a couple of things though. The cr who tried to kill me, did not succeed- in or out of the marriage. I think he is dead but I have no confirmation. The supporter is dead .
The college fund I began for children, the properties I was working to pay for so I could leave them to the children- all gone. Lost. They succeeeded in losing me my jobs -properties- everything. Absolutely everything. But- they NEVER got my spirit. They never will. So, when I listen to our present government blathering about crime rates etc. , to me, they are blithering idiots. I am soothed that I am not alone in thinking this.I wonder if intrafamilial child sexual abuse will be recognized as such- in my lifetime. Recognized by social services and courts etc. I don't think so. Not in my lifetime. There are literally thousands and thousands of divorced mothers, whose children at the very least, are twisted up in their development, by this - shared parenting concept. All THAT idea is, is to reduce child support payments. At the worst- there are cases like ours.
Friday 24 February 2012
Wednesday 22 February 2012
Tuesday 21 February 2012
Monday 20 February 2012
Sunday 19 February 2012
Saturday 18 February 2012
Thursday 16 February 2012
Tuesday 14 February 2012
Sunday 12 February 2012
Saturday 11 February 2012
Friday 10 February 2012
Monday 23 January 2012
J'accuse
Whom do I blame ? Who is ultimately responsible for this annihilation?
First of course, the abuser. The brute. The criminal. He who raped my children. Who brutalized my babies and animals. Who tried to kill me. Who got custody.
And as a malevolent shadow behind him, my first husband. The non-person. The Hollow Man.
The HM, who, when I awoke weeping the night my father died at my knees on the floor, turned and so roughly said " Whaddaya crying for it's not sad when an old man dies." I was pregnant with HM's child. My first born. This HM who was so supportive of and friends with the child rapist who had also brutalized the HM's child. HM who came to court and lied. He always lied so well. About everything. HM who found the lawyer for the criminal. And on and on. It would take many books to describe it all. Did I ever tell anyone ? No. To what end ?
Equally, maybe mostly, I blame the social services culture and rules. The police were always excellent with me. They knew him. But they and others are required by law to report any abuses like wife beating and child sexual abuse, to the social services.All cries for help lead, by law, to the social services. A very few know what they are doing. A huge number have no idea what they are doing. (undoubtedly think they know) , and follow the legends, myths and fairy tales they have learned. Some who may be involved in child sex abuse/porn rings. After all, there is a market and these people have easy and mandated access to hapless victims. There is money to be made with human agony.
Finally, I blame the divorce laws which would be laughable if they were not so ruinous to already brutalized and victimized mothers and children.
J' accuse
Thursday 19 January 2012
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