Triggers/rant

Some are known and can be foreseen . Many cannot. One must be on constant alert to check and doublecheck all reactions so as to ensure there is not an over-reaction to some word or sentence or facial expression.It is exhausting.


This one hit out of the blue. The Supreme Court decision on "low risk" HIV infection and the need to inform a partner did it. More correctly, the discussions after in a newspaper, did me in. I cannot even remember the content of the article or comments, except for the one word that set off the avalanche of desperate , intensely sad reactions. Clamydia. A sexually transmitted disease.



That was what my x beating battering child abusing animal abusing thieving piece of criminality gave me. And gave to some children he had - contact with. All of that suffering un necessary. Lives mangled and destroyed thanks to a crown prosecutor who refused to lay charges when the police asked. Thanks to the youth destruction group who helped the child rapist.wife beater/attempted murder thing/bestiality practitioner/thief criminal.


He had a vasectomy before I managed to sue for divorce (since there was no help anywhere). Said to me it was because he loved me. He must have thought I was as stupid as all the insane social workers  and psychologists. It was so he would not impregnate his victims. At least one victim took, without needing to- birth control pills for years and years. That alone is not good for the health.


And still some (men) ask me - did I never get a "chum" after divorce. Idiots. What do they think DV is ? The x beat up men too. Democratic abuser. Abuse anything our society lets him hurt. That's a LOT.That's anything and anyone. The Supreme Court is completely UNABLE to judge in matters of human health and welfare. Any law system is. Laws were developed to protect property. As such, they cannot and should not wander blindly into the realms of health and welfare of living entities.

Damn them all to hell.

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers


This early report on the eighth Battered Mothers Custody Conference deserve a place of honour here !

The Pixel Project

The Pixel Project

Check it out- if you are a thinking person-

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part Two

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part Two

Part Two available here- the WARshak's attempts to- supply more victims to victimizers.

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part One

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part One

This is Part One of an excellent expose of a War shak's latest attempts to push a bunch of ideas that kill and maim.

Support for the Family Law Amendment (Family Violence) Bill 2010 Petition

Support for the Family Law Amendment (Family Violence) Bill 2010 Petition

If Australia succeeds in evolving and securing human rights for children, maybe North America will follow- one can always hope- and -sign the petition !!!!!!!!!!!

BBC News - Mother sentenced for abducting son in Isle of Man

BBC News - Mother sentenced for abducting son in Isle of Man

SafeChildWithMom

SafeChildWithMom

This is a super blog post-.Needed to be shared.

End Modern-Day Slavery

End Modern-Day Slavery

This guy looks like a winner- check it out ! He has been BUSY !

Beyond Borders announces 2010 Media Award winners

Beyond Borders announces 2010 Media Award winners


Important work being done here. Important work being recognized.

Crime Victims Share All at Town Hall Meeting - Chevy Chase, MD Patch

Crime Victims Share All at Town Hall Meeting - Chevy Chase, MD Patch

One wonders if Canada will EVER start listening- as these people in the U.S. did. One judge in the Youth Protection system tried, some years ago in Quebec. She was squelched. Her treatment at the hands of some "systems" sent a clear message to victims- tough if you experienced a crime and you are a mother or child. You are only Roadkill. The judge's name was Andree Ruffo. I hope some recognize the name - -

Intergenerational Impact of Ongoing Molestation…McNeill/Vargas case « Let'sGetHonestBlog

Intergenerational Impact of Ongoing Molestation…McNeill/Vargas case « Let'sGetHonestBlog

Ohhh- this is GOOD ! The ex who abused my son and 2 girls, once told me he was afraid the son would grow up to kill him. That's the ex who got custody. Guess what he did to children after.

October 17, 1986/ October 17, 2010.

                                         The date my soul died with a silent scream.

24 years ago today, my soul was wrenched from my being and shattered.




For seven years I had phoned and spoken to police, doctors, ministers, priests - anyone who could help me stop him from beating me and abusing all my children. Could stop him from sodomizing my babies. Stop him from abusing animals.Stop him. Help us. Nothing.

So I find a job and seek divorce. I have temporary custody. I move us to a safer place. By mortgaging the properties I have. There are 4. One for each child and one for me. For them to have a heritage to sell or live in.

His psychologist has recommended custody to the abusive brute. Again. The first judge threw it out and requested another "expertise". The police, doctor, psychiatrist, a social worker, neighbours, minister- a veritable parade of people have come to the court to speak of our experiences at the hands of this abuser. One psychologist vs. how many ?

Another social worker decides I am lying , or am psychotic or my son has been abusing - or- I don't know to this day exactly why she recommended custody to a brutal abuser. The report she gave me was all whatever the abuser told her. There was nothing correct in it. Not even the distance between homes. It would have been laughable if it hadn't been a death sentence for our souls.

October 17, 1986. The five year old wanted to dress up for a "kind of party at school". Unusual- she runs back to give me yet another kiss before getting on the bus. The seven year old wouldn't go to bed the night before. She insisted on following me around as I worked on my teaching papers. She wouldn't go to school in the morning, claiming a queasy stomach.


October 17, 1986, 12:05 p.m. The door knocker is banging wildly. Importantly. Too noisily. I look through the security peephole. I see a policeman whom I know. I know them all, after years of calling and reporting.  Undo all the locks. A strange young man in "workie" clothes pushes the door in and jams his workboot in the space as I try to shut the door-. What is THIS ??? He says; " I am here to take xxxxxxx to her father Madame." (we speak in French) Open the door. The policeman looks like he will faint or vomit.

I tell this strangely intense young man to remove his foot. In my best teacher talking to an out-of control child voice. He says : "What are you going to do ?"  I tell him, I will ask my child to go up to my room and turn on the tv there. Guess he saw something in my eyes. He removes his foot. Shut door. My beloved always -  oh - so - pale child goes upstairs like a ghost.

I phone a neighbour friend. I can hardly dial. My entire body is shaking.  Friend comes. I tell her- he says he is to bring xxxxxxx to her father but there are no papers or judgement. Nothing. She verbally blasts the young man- in English. Well- he would understand the tone.

Finally he tells me to go upstairs and tell the child she is to go and live with her father. (From her behaviour, she already knew- but I didn't) I said. No. I will NOT tell a child she has to go and live with her abuser. It is insanity. You tell her. Before you do, write down what you are doing here and why. Sign and date it. He did.  I had no paper or warning - nothing - I had phoned my lawyer. Of course- it was noon and the offices were closed.

And then my soul walked out the door and that was it.

This paper is marching with a friend, in Rimouski. Symbolic. To carry our silent screams to the Marche Mondiale des Femmes. On October 17, 2010.

WARNING MAY TRIGGER. NOT for the faint of heart

Memories of my baby(ies)

31 years and a couple of months ago, I made my first call to the police. The first of many over the next decades.

My then husband had taken the (6-7 month old) baby away to a house he had. He returned some time later saying that the baby wouldn't stop screaming.The baby was like a limp gray rag doll. There was a two dollar coin sized red raw ring around the anus. The baby expelled a ribbon of white material. I thought my baby would die. No eating no drinking. The baby would snooze a bit if I held the tiny hand. I don't know how long I was on the floor beside the crib. Holding the hand. Days. He wouldn't let me take the infant to the hospital. When you know he can kill you, you tend to "obey". I did go when the red had faded but was still visible. The doctors didn't pick up on what he had done. I didn't really realize it until much later. All I knew was that he had the power of death over myself and the children and I was alone to try to keep us alive.The baby was never the same after. Our worlds had been distorted so as to be unrecognizable. I functioned like a robot.

This man was a wife beater. A bestiality practitioner.And a lot more. But the more- I cannot write at this time.


When there was no help from any service (except the police-who really tried), I went for a divorce. By then he had "got" the other baby and a young child. I lost custody. The man who tried to murder me (police report) ,the child rapist, the killer of animals etc. was believed by social services. Plus he had a lawyer who worked with a psychologist who was the "president" of a fathers' rights group. My psychiatrist's report, the police. the priest, the neighbours- etc etc.- all their witnessing and testimony was- unheard ? Meant nothing.
Ergo- I was used as a breeder for a bunch of child pornographers and rapists.

From then on, my life was about finding enough work to pay the child support which stopped finally in 2005.I knew that as long as I could have $ sent, I was possibly safe, and so were the children. He wouldn't (probably) kill any of us, because he would get no more $.

It was a Globe and Mail text from another country, that spurred me to write this memory. One of thousands.

To try to explain the inexplicable-this happens. Far more frequently than most know. We are -"silenced" by laws-by belief systems by attitudes by prejudice and by -plain old evil. Once divorced- with an abuser- the beat goes goes on. Doors get shot out, mothers get shot, children get killed, animals die etc. ad nauseum.
The victims get told to "talk to the nice man". Or- go to to therapy. How absurd.

Violence against women: an international epidemic - The Globe and Mail

Violence against women: an international epidemic - The Globe and Mail



A well presented article. Bravo Mr.Caplan.

Crossing Roads Safely: Custody battles and abusers rights -

HOW DO WE KNOW CUSTODY COURTS ARE SENDING CHILDREN TO LIVE WITH ABUSERS? NOMAS

Have children ? Any kind of a relationship ? Want children ? Want to be in a relationship ? THEN- read this and re-read this and spread it around. Tragically true. We won't cross roads without looking both ways- please don't cross this road (into a relationship) - without looking both ways. It could very well save your life and that of  your children.


Just look at the recent exposure of a convicted child sexual abuser being PARDONED and then , the event being kept hidden. Well, in divorce court, the non-abusing parent will be blamed for " disrupting the family" or worse- and already mangled children will be sent to live with their rapist.

Non- abusing parents (and others) are required by law to report abuse. When they do, social services systems and law sytems tend to blame the reporting non-abusive parent, and send the children to be further wounded. Protective parents are - not believed and the laws are too- vaguely worded.

The Christian Lee inquest report out of British Columbia highlights the systemic failures. This is a common scenario acted out across Canada. Weep for our children - and then- DO something about it. Anything.

The Canadian Press: Junior hockey predator Graham James pardoned as fresh allegations emerge

The Canadian Press: Junior hockey predator Graham James pardoned as fresh allegations emerge


On Easter Sunday comes the hitherto hidden news that Graham James, a CONVICTED child/youth sexual aggresssor, was PARDONED in 2007. By a parole board. Just look at the "head honcho" responsible- and his current JOB.

And people wonder why some mothers don't leave their sexual child abuser/wife-beating husbands ?????  They are condemned if they do- and most often, the child sexual abuser- the sick bastard who raped their children, gets custody.  Even a bastard like James- gets -PARDONED ???????????  We live in one sick society. I know- not everyone. But- WHEN will the "decent" folk wake up to what is happening ??????? Or- do you already know and you don't give a damn about anyone else ?????? Some culture. I can't decide if we are devolving, or trying to evolve and having a really bad time of it - -.A bad time meaning- to hell with children. To hell with protective parents. And- on Easter Sunday- some priest somewhere- calls the sexual abuse by clergy events- "petty gossip" ???????  Mangle and destroy a human life- is  - -PETTY ?????? That one should be tarred and feathered and made to live in exile on a desert island with other sick, twisted creeps. I am sickened by the news. As should everyone be.

Career Abusers:The Indiana Law Blog: Ind. Courts - "Anderson attorney faces child porn charges"

The Indiana Law Blog: Ind. Courts - "Anderson attorney faces child porn charges"

No-one should be surprised-. Some fathers who fight for custody- some of their lawyers- some police-some anyone really, are abusers. Abusing can be abusing children- not just a woman - -. A percentage of the 2% or so, who engage in prolonged litigation over custody of children, money (child support) , accusing the mother of various crimes etc.- a certain small percentage of these people are abusers. That's what they do in life. It is a career choice for some.Same with a percentage of those in the - ministries or the priesthood- or- like the man who was running/organizing a safe place for abused boys in another country- until he was caught- abusing a boy - - - -

If police concentrate on certain groups- like those espousing equal parenting, shared parenting, mother-bashing, "rights" for fathers etc.- police would find a high percentage of abusers. The more educated abusers are perhaps harder to catch- only until they let their arrogance overide their- caution. They KNOW they are abusers. Even- some politicians- who push for private bills and make a lot of noise - -in the ranks of their supporters- there could very well be some- abusers. Intolerant behaviour which targets mostly women- is immediately -suspect.

Tamara's House Blog - NetworkedBlogs.com

Tamara's House Blog - NetworkedBlogs.com

A very fine blog. Well worth perusing- especially if you work with survivors and/or are a survivor yourself, or the non-abusive parent of a hurt child. Canada

Department of Justice - Laws(Canada) and Gold medals -

Department of Justice - Laws

A useful website for mothers and mothers of children -either or both of whom have been attacked by the "father"/husband/partner.
It has always been a source of incomprehension to me , how the laws can be vigorously applied when a "stranger" tries to kill another- or assaults another adult sexually, or assaults a child- sexually or otherwise: but- if a person KNOWN to the victim(s) is assaulted sexually or otherwise wounded - the crimes are ignored- or turned around to blame the victim(s). I understand why this happens - but not how society, including the law, continues to be so obstinately blind. So obtuse.

So - when reading the laws, and all the messages about not attacking women and children seem to indicate that our society does not condone these criminal acts-one might believe that- if so attacked, there will be a criminal charge etc.

No- not if the criminal is "known" to you or small victims. Why ? Well- first one has to be ABLE to contact police . Not always possible. Then, one has to have police who are trained in -recognizing the validity and danger of a situation. Then, a crown prosecutor must be able and willing to accept the "case". Then, one must have a judge who recognizes the crime(s) for what they are. Any of the "players" involved may be so imbued with legends and myths- and/or so impressed with their own perceived importance, that the crimes are never punished accordingly- relative to the damage inflicted.

Add to all of those obstacles, there is a small percentage of people who loudly work against helping victims. They promote and talk about various theories and ideas. Which serves to further blame victims and is obviously(in the news)- leading to more murders and destruction of human lives- notably- the more vulnerable -women and children-caught in a "family" with an abuser/criminal. Theories, ideas, vague accusations etc. have NO place in a court of law. Divorce or otherwise. Only facts. And even then - - -

Changing the attitudes and mentality of some systems- is a daunting challenge. Worthy of Olympic status. One of the most unevolved systems , has been and continues to be, the social services systems. These are such closed and self-serving bureaucracies that even police will (among themselves) complain how all the work they have done to protect victims- is completely undone, by representatives of these closed systems. The word "on the street" -across Canada- is- NEVER contact the ss- ALWAYS contact police first. You see, victims would rather starve than be continuously attacked -or- killed by their abusers. A clear example of this - gaping wound in our world, can be read in the Lee inquest report from British Columbia.

I want my Gold medal now.