Mish Mash

There are things I know that inhabit my mind and soul and serve to waken me or stun me back into the time and place of the events. They come unbidden to tear again at me. If I am driving or in a meeting or trying to pay a purchase, they put me into a forgetting- of the moment. I end up driving somewhere I had not intended. I lose my train of thought in the meeting or stop functioning effectively in the language of that meeting. I forget my blasted PIN number and have to hold up a long line of people while I search for the number I have secreted somewhere to deal with these PTSD symptoms.

There are things I remember. The child rapist tells me he is taking my then small son 6? 7? 8? and looking 5, to help him with wood. I don't like it at all, but I had a small baby in the house and the cr was capable of killing me. The cr comes back after a while, without my son. Heart clutch. Has he killed him ? I must remain calm- there is a baby upstairs. He says- I came back for tea-he is piling wood. He has that look on his face- a sort of cruel perverse smug "I gotcha" look. I MUST remain calm. He sits there for a long time. After- I don't know how long, a strange car pulls up. Out gets a man -in his- 50's ? wearing one of those "old time" fur hats-. He has glasses. My son gets out of the passenger side. The man says something to him. My son comes to the house - walking stiff legged- with what has been descibed as the thousand yard stare. Past me, inside, upstairs to his room.I must have gone outside. The man says to me that he lives near where the cr was working and heard the child crying so he brought him home. I know he is lying. I cannot conceive of why. I go upstairs. My son is in his room- the rest is still blank. The man talked briefly to the cr-. Then left.

Some time later, I put it all together. You see, the cr did not just trade/sell my two daughters (only one ?) he also sold my son. And the son's father , who left and divorced me, supported the cr . Supported a child rapist and refused to pay for his school etc.( I refused to ask for alimony- I knew he would torture us-or me) Supported the cr when I went for divorce FROM the cr, and lost custody of two small traumatized girls to the cr.  Did I report ? Of course. The social services did nothing except push for family therapy. Insane. Or part of a porn/child sex ring.  That's one tiny example of what comes to torture me daily and nightly. I have achieved a couple of things though. The cr who tried to kill me, did not succeed- in or out of the marriage. I think he is dead but I have no confirmation. The supporter is dead .

The college fund I began for children, the properties I was working to pay for so I could leave them to the children- all gone. Lost. They succeeeded in losing me my jobs -properties- everything. Absolutely everything. But- they NEVER got my spirit. They never will. So, when I listen to our present government blathering about crime rates etc. , to me, they are blithering idiots. I am soothed that I am not alone in thinking this.I wonder if intrafamilial child sexual abuse will be recognized as such- in my lifetime. Recognized by social services and courts etc.  I don't think so. Not in my lifetime. There are literally thousands and thousands of divorced mothers, whose children at the very least, are twisted up in their development, by this - shared parenting concept. All THAT idea is, is to reduce child support payments. At the worst- there are cases like ours.

Unwarranted guilt-

I was working flat out , in an excellent position-as I paid the mortgages, clothing- everything but some food. Two children are at the babysitter's. One- 7 months old- (6?) , the other, 1.7 years old. I go to pick them up- am off a bit earlier than usual. The babysitter meets me at the door with the older child- with a terrible look on her face. My husband- the child sexual predator, has come and taken the baby. I ask -how long ago-. Not long- . I drive like a fiend to get back. Arrive- fly into house. I cannot remember where the toddler was or where she went- if she came in- that is a blank. Still. Pervert comes rushing down the stairs, puffing and all red in the face. He says- gasping- don't go up- she's been sick- . Die you fuck.(I think) I go up. Find a sheet with -a circular wet mark about 5 inches in diameter- baby maybe was sucking on it ? She is on her stomach- a hastily thrown clean sheet on the crib mattress- not tucked in- and a new diaper. Her tiny bottom in the air, knees/legs curled under her. At some point- can't remember- immediate ?- I pick her up and put her on the changing table. Open the diaper. She had made desperate protesting noises when I picked her up (from behind). There is a flaming red friction burn mark around the anus, as if a red-hot two dollar piece had been held there and seared the skin. I grab the zinc paste. Gently pick up the legs- she stiffens her whole body and pulls/looks away. God. One part of my mind KNOWS what the bastard did. The other part is reeling from- how could anyone- who will believe me- what the hell do I do do I kill him do I try (again) to get out- can't tell social services- they won't believe me- can't be obvious he will kill me (already tried)She kind of convulses . A viscous white ribbon of matter is expelled. Ejaculate. I call the baby's name. Show her the paste on my finger. Say "it's mummy, it's mummy-" She suddenly focuses on me and the body relaxes. I put the paste on -gingerly. When he did this to the older one (as a baby) I did not connect. He wouldn't let me take her to the hospital (I realize now- until the burn marks went.)When I did go- the hospital didn't "connect" either.

The rest of the days and weeks are a complete blank- except-

A few days later, there are bruises on both legs. I cannot figure it out- my hand does not fit- the marks are too big- and, the marks don't fit the way I had held her legs to put on the paste.Two outlines of two hands- well- ten fingers-. I tried placing my hands every which way- I thought I had caused the bruises. It was years before I realised- the bruises were from HIM grabbing her- from behind, while she was on her stomach. And this being (male) got sole custody and then cut me out entirely from their lives. Then , everyone blamed me and thought I had done something wrong. I wish I WERE a witch and could bring down disaster on all the people who destroyed us.

California Family Courts Helping Pedophiles, Batterers Get Child Custody - Page 1 - News - San Francisco - SF Weekly#disqus_thread#disqus_thread

California Family Courts Helping Pedophiles, Batterers Get Child Custody - Page 1 - News - San Francisco - SF Weekly#disqus_thread#disqus_thread

A most important article . Of note, are many of the comments that flooded in, touting a psychological THEORY and ignoring the deaths and trauma ridden lives of (for example) the children who survived.While some in the reading public may prefer to follow ideas and theories; there are, without question many if not most, who would prefer to see children being protected and not given to criminals on the strength of words rather than facts.Children who, if not murdered, survive and fight trauma reactions for the rest of their lives.

American Family Recieves Asylum in Europe: Holly Collins Son Returns Home to Marblehead Massachusetts

American Family Recieves Asylum in Europe: Holly Collins Son Returns Home to Marblehead Massachusetts

This is of such crucial importance for so many thousands of mothers and children across North America. Most are unable to speak. They are dead or gagged or just trying to live from day to day. Often, just putting one foot in front of the other, drains all energy from survivors of this particular hell.

The hell of ,as children, being wrenched-plucked from a peaceful, safe loving environment in order to live (not the right word) with your abuser, your rapist.The hell of being that mother who not only must somehow live with the the indescribable agony of never seeing your children (or rarely)and the unbearable knowledge that they are being profoundly wounded and you can do nothing to help them. Nothing , but pay money to the abuser. At the same time, a mother like this must protect herself from the continued and often escalated attacks by the criminal who tried to kill her, who beat and battered her and who so grotesquely abused her children and animals.

Jennifer speaks for all those thousands of children across North America and in other countries.
Who will listen, and learn ?

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers

Rights for Mothers | Resources and Support for Noncustodial and Custodially-Challenged Mothers


This early report on the eighth Battered Mothers Custody Conference deserve a place of honour here !

Girl shot 8 times trying to protect brother: Lawyer | Canada | News | Toronto Sun

Girl shot 8 times trying to protect brother: Lawyer | Canada | News | Toronto Sun


Hopefully, that judge's name will appear somewhere - the one who granted custody to a criminal. Was it a Montreal or a Texas judge ???????????? Apparently each adult filed- in their respective jurisdictions. It was apparently a Montreal judge who granted temporary custody to the mother on Oct. 26. So, it would appear that MAYBE it was a Texas judge who "messed up" bigtime-. Accessory to murder and attempted murder. However, Quebec province and Canada in general, have their bountiful share of children being sent to live with criminals.Some children and mothers are murdered outright- others experience slow soul-murder. Some survive repeated suicide attempts- some don't-. And so the carnage goes.

The Pixel Project

The Pixel Project

Check it out- if you are a thinking person-

PAS is a Scam

PAS is a Scam

More victims and their supporters recognize this insanity for the destructive viciousness it supports -

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part Two

The Countess: Richard Warshak Dances Around Parental Alienation - Part Two

Part Two available here- the WARshak's attempts to- supply more victims to victimizers.

Violence against women: an international epidemic - The Globe and Mail

Violence against women: an international epidemic - The Globe and Mail



A well presented article. Bravo Mr.Caplan.

Parental Alienation Awareness

Australian Shared Parenting Law Debate


Read this carefully. Research the information. Learn. That is- if you care a whit about what happens to children- Canadian or any child. Check out the symbols used by pedophiles- via the FBI information database. One of them was used by the author of this truly excellent text- and it "morphs" into the alienation heart symbol used at the top of the page. I have seen the symbol used to identify (to each other) pedophiles who go after boys. It was held by a teacher in a place where I worked.

The danger to our children is real and very insidious. It would not even occur to most human beings, to want or have sex with a child- (or an animal). That inability to feel twisted urges tends to lead us to disbelief- which can send us looking for other reasons or explanations. Our very "normality" can bring us to support destructive ideas. So- shared parenting, equal custody -alienation type theories can, on first glance, appear- APPEAR to be reasonable and - "fair".

These ideas are far from being fair. They are used primarily by abusers and their lawyers to obtain money and/or sex from small victims. Even slightly thinking couples, on divorce, will reach acceptable agreements-often without continually returning to court. It is the albeit small percentage of divorcing couples who are often called "high conflict" -where the the potential for great harm is found. No country or province or state or ANY grouping of humans, should ever consider a blanket, across the board ruling or presumption that imposes, all too frequently , a death sentence on children.

This kind of thinking has led to numerous murders of children - across continents. If not physically killed, others "survive" what one author has termed "soul murder".

Read this and share. Please.

Crossing Roads Safely: Custody battles and abusers rights -

HOW DO WE KNOW CUSTODY COURTS ARE SENDING CHILDREN TO LIVE WITH ABUSERS? NOMAS

Have children ? Any kind of a relationship ? Want children ? Want to be in a relationship ? THEN- read this and re-read this and spread it around. Tragically true. We won't cross roads without looking both ways- please don't cross this road (into a relationship) - without looking both ways. It could very well save your life and that of  your children.


Just look at the recent exposure of a convicted child sexual abuser being PARDONED and then , the event being kept hidden. Well, in divorce court, the non-abusing parent will be blamed for " disrupting the family" or worse- and already mangled children will be sent to live with their rapist.

Non- abusing parents (and others) are required by law to report abuse. When they do, social services systems and law sytems tend to blame the reporting non-abusive parent, and send the children to be further wounded. Protective parents are - not believed and the laws are too- vaguely worded.

The Christian Lee inquest report out of British Columbia highlights the systemic failures. This is a common scenario acted out across Canada. Weep for our children - and then- DO something about it. Anything.

Dastardly Dads: Violent father murders mother during court-ordered visitation (Mankato, Minnesota)

Dastardly Dads: Violent father murders mother during court-ordered visitation (Mankato, Minnesota)

"She started it - - -" Womanist Musings-

Womanist Musings

This kind of action  is not usually witnessed- except by a couple's children. More often, it is fists and pieces of wood, chairs etc. used on the woman as weapons with which to beat her. If a mother lives- and actually goes for a divorce, she may well end up with joint custody-and/or liberal visits- or even lose custody of already wounded children -to a criminal. Make any sense to you ? It doesn't to me. Added to that is the absolute FACT that men who abuse other humans like this, frequently have made abuse  a career choice. Which means they abuse anything and everything living. Their children, other children, other humans- male and female, animals-especially pets etc.

And still there are those who- - -ummm- "blame" the woman - or call humans like me (who find all those above mentioned acts-criminal) -those who call me - (example) feminazi. Draw your own conclusions.

Rules are Lke Women; Made to be Violated

Sexual Assault and Violence in Canada New Brunswick Beacon

If you have or had a mother, or a sister (s) or female cousins or aunts-or girlfriends- etc.-
Especially if you have sons or daughters- you need to read and re-read this. For all human beings-

I wonder if this judge is the darling of certain- "fathers' rights" types. Here you have a legal expert pronouncing on the merits of sex with any female- children included. He didn't cover bestiality- wonder what his view is on that ? I suppose like some- if you can get away with it - -.If I were a man, I would be disgusted that this judge is - also -male.This judge does a disservice, to be super polite- to ALL human beings.

BCLocalNews.com - In Depth - Violence against women: Salt Spring men speak out

BCLocalNews.com - In Depth - Violence against women: Salt Spring men speak out


Everyone knows the majority of men - real men, are out there. But, we do not often hear from them. How -soul - soothing to read this.

Mothers Intelligence Secret Service: Dossier: Mark K Godbey(Canadians in here)

Mothers Intelligence Secret Service: Dossier: Mark K Godbey

Bears reading- if you are either someone who has been beaten by your husband/partner, if your children and/or pets have been sexually assaulted by your husband/partner and if you think that these are criminal acts-- then- these guys and some others- work to maintain the right to abuse- using ideas like parental alienation- to gain continued control of their victims.
Any and all psychologists etc. who proclaim loudly that these dangerous ideas are- "true" or- okay- are to avoided at all costs.
Any countries that I know of, have laws in their criminal codes which condemn having sex with children- beating up or trying to kill another human (like your wife/partner) and bestiality. So- WHY ? you might ask, do some people promote ideas that protect criminals ?????   Is that not - mind boggling ?????

More charges against father possible after autopsy on baby

More charges against father possible after autopsy on baby Canada


Wonder if the mother told anyone before- of possible domestic violence -. Wonder if she will be blamed -for not protecting-. That is a favourite mantra of social services systems- Protective parent (most often a mother) reports- social services people work on the premise of "keeping the family together". No matter what. Including when the father is sexually assaulting his children. The O and P services. (obtuse and perverse)

Thank goodness the media picked up on this- "case".

Man's own kids in child porn collection - Crime - Canoe.ca

Man's own kids in child porn collection - Crime - Canoe.ca

There are thousands of "men" like this- just not caught -
Look at many "domestic violence" cases- you know- criminal assault.If you look and listen- you will find child sexual assaults, child pornography and many forms of violence against living , sentient beings .

Problem of Groupthink - Solutions for New Millenium

Problem of Groupthink - Solutions for New Millenium

Having just written a bit about closed systems and - essentially- groupthink - this came through ! Excellent.
Reading a thoughtful post is - SUCH a relief after a frequent diet of dangerous claptrap. (people who believe in dangerous ideas that hurt human beings- specifically, alienation type offal. (NO , I don't mean awful- although that works, too !)