The Web

of manipulation, lies and stupidity. A hallmark of divorces involving abuses. Here is one small thread of one tiny web.

A bit of background. Husband no.1 , x no. 1  saw me reading a book by (I forget !) maybe Greer, or de Beauvoir . Around 1972. I was always and remain, a "bookworm". He decided then and there that I was a feminist. I didn't know what that was ! Whatever that was, to him it seemed as if I was a murderer or something equally horrendous. He stomped around the house like a 2 year old having a tantrum. Weird. But then, the guy seemed so damaged that I knew early on that something was terribly off about him.  I got married when that one asked (had refused a lot) , to please my aging parents. They lived in a decent world. None of us knew about- "the hollow people".

Fast forward. I marry x2, because I am pregnant  (after being told by medical people that I could never have another child) and as I have no job, no money and did have the farm my parents left me,I decided I had no choice but to marry.(late 70's) Looking back, I still cannot see any other decision I could have made. I did have 25$ a week in child support. I has refused alimony for me, knowing that the hollow man would never leave me alone.(even though he left and wanted divorce)

Jump ahead about six years. Son by x1, now age 11, abused and traumatized by x2 and his friends, is developing some behaviours that I find suspicious. I am in the process of setting up our escape plan and must not allow anything to arouse suspicion in x2. I have already asked a lawyer about divorce and was told I must tell the abuser. I was afraid of being killed- but told him. He seemed to-go the way of trying to  convince me to not divorce. I had quietly put it off for a year. I made more plans in the meantime. (x2 is an incestuous child rapist of children, animal rapist and wife beater)

I try to never let the children out of my sight. Ever. It is late summer.1983 ?  The son is home, soon to go to boarding school. I lose sight of the older girl, age 5, and the boy. Panic. Call and call and rush around with my heart in my throat. . Finally into the new vehicle to search further afield. 

A short way down the country farm lane, and the girl emerges from a shed. Comes to the vehicle. With a look on her face- of - shock ? I ask what was going on. She told me. (undressed her) I asked if the boy had put any body part inside her.She said "no- he started to, and stopped." I want to vomit. I want to kill. I want to disappear with my daughters. I can do nothing. If he (x2) finds out, we are doomed. All of us. 

For years, I have told medical, police, church, psychologists at a major Montreal hospital etc. They must report to social services.Family therapy is offered. Nothing.I had got another degree, a job,a vehicle etc.The son was going to be in boarding school. To protect him and all of us. If I say something now-to whom ? There is no-one left to tell. The web is about to strangle us all.Just like x2 did. Except I lived. Will we all live through this ?

Maybe a couple of weeks later, a social worker appears. Another one. I thought- finally, some reaction from the powers that be. Silly me. She was talking about the boy.She closed the file, writing that I had solved the problem. At the time I still had not caught on- I thought- nothing is solved, what is she talking about ? So, x2 was behind all that. SS listened to him, but not the police or doctor or any of the others- including me. Are they all in a group of pedophiles ?

Half a year later, I have temporary custody, have rented my loved farm and moved (second mortgage) to a house in a village, thinking that if I scream , there is a chance someone will at least hear.

The girl children return from a visit to abuserdad.I am making the beds and find a diary of sorts under the eldest's pillow. There is little in it and it does not read like a child's phrases. There is a last entry :xxxx raped me. I photocopy the phamplet and return it under the pillow. After I lost custody and rarely saw the two seriously traumatized girls,on a visit to me, the older girl suddenly asks me (in a very public place !) "Mum , what does rape mean ?" I answer "It means when someone puts a penis inside your body and you don't want them to." "ohhhhhhhh, I thought it meant take all your clothes off" .

There it is. x2 told her to write that in that "diary"(which I never saw again) and blamed the boy, x1's son, for the supposed rape. By which they meant penile penetration. x1 supported the child rapist who was also responsible for traumatizing his son. The whole thing is/was  so incredibly twisted, demented,, criminal, unspeakably evil and destructive that words are inadequate to describe that web.

This is what "protective" mothers are talking about, when we use the word abuses or domestic violence.This is what fathers' rights gangs support. This. 



Unwarranted guilt-

I was working flat out , in an excellent position-as I paid the mortgages, clothing- everything but some food. Two children are at the babysitter's. One- 7 months old- (6?) , the other, 1.7 years old. I go to pick them up- am off a bit earlier than usual. The babysitter meets me at the door with the older child- with a terrible look on her face. My husband- the child sexual predator, has come and taken the baby. I ask -how long ago-. Not long- . I drive like a fiend to get back. Arrive- fly into house. I cannot remember where the toddler was or where she went- if she came in- that is a blank. Still. Pervert comes rushing down the stairs, puffing and all red in the face. He says- gasping- don't go up- she's been sick- . Die you fuck.(I think) I go up. Find a sheet with -a circular wet mark about 5 inches in diameter- baby maybe was sucking on it ? She is on her stomach- a hastily thrown clean sheet on the crib mattress- not tucked in- and a new diaper. Her tiny bottom in the air, knees/legs curled under her. At some point- can't remember- immediate ?- I pick her up and put her on the changing table. Open the diaper. She had made desperate protesting noises when I picked her up (from behind). There is a flaming red friction burn mark around the anus, as if a red-hot two dollar piece had been held there and seared the skin. I grab the zinc paste. Gently pick up the legs- she stiffens her whole body and pulls/looks away. God. One part of my mind KNOWS what the bastard did. The other part is reeling from- how could anyone- who will believe me- what the hell do I do do I kill him do I try (again) to get out- can't tell social services- they won't believe me- can't be obvious he will kill me (already tried)She kind of convulses . A viscous white ribbon of matter is expelled. Ejaculate. I call the baby's name. Show her the paste on my finger. Say "it's mummy, it's mummy-" She suddenly focuses on me and the body relaxes. I put the paste on -gingerly. When he did this to the older one (as a baby) I did not connect. He wouldn't let me take her to the hospital (I realize now- until the burn marks went.)When I did go- the hospital didn't "connect" either.

The rest of the days and weeks are a complete blank- except-

A few days later, there are bruises on both legs. I cannot figure it out- my hand does not fit- the marks are too big- and, the marks don't fit the way I had held her legs to put on the paste.Two outlines of two hands- well- ten fingers-. I tried placing my hands every which way- I thought I had caused the bruises. It was years before I realised- the bruises were from HIM grabbing her- from behind, while she was on her stomach. And this being (male) got sole custody and then cut me out entirely from their lives. Then , everyone blamed me and thought I had done something wrong. I wish I WERE a witch and could bring down disaster on all the people who destroyed us.

Blazing Cat Fur: Our Elites at Work: Pedophilia a sexual orientation...just like heterosexuality

Blazing Cat Fur: Our Elites at Work: Pedophilia a sexual orientation...just like heterosexuality


Glad to see others share my opinion of this hairball. (Hubert) He has been teaching for decades at a Montreal University. Decades of children have been destroyed by his "teachings/ideas" It goes like this : report child sexual abuse - especially if it is intrafamilial- and your abuser will just find a lawyer, social worker, mediator, doctor, psychologist "expert" and bingo- lose the the children. You are - crazy or a druggie or an alcoholic or a "loose woman"- any one or combination of the usual crap.

Haven't blogged in long time. Gets too much -and- there are some truly excellent ones out there-

On

pages 220-221 of her book Unspeakable, Lynn Sacco writes the following: Many critics depicted women's willingness to "break the silence" as a modern-day hysteria incited by feminists who easily manipulated desperate and irrational women.Columbia University psychiatrist Dr.Richard Gardner, who often provided expert testimony on behalf of accused fathers, argued that "feminist groups . . . have their share of fanatics.(They)operate as if they have a lifelong vendetta against men and will never be satisfied until all of them are destroyed.These zealots have found the sex abuse scene to be a perfect opportunity for the expression of their venom." Some feminists were unhappy, too.On the front page of the New York times Book Review in January 1993, psychologist Carol Tavris mocked the outpouring of incest claims as a pathetic " cult of victimhood" and a by product of the "excesses of feminism."She lambasted the "incest survivor machine", comparing a woman who makes an incest allegation to a woman who alleges that the FBI was "bugging her socks".

All my children never had a chance.Nor did I , to protect them-although I tried everything-and now, have only the energy to - talk.

Sisyphe.org - Une théorie inventée utile au lobby des pères

Sisyphe.org - Une théorie inventée utile au lobby des pères


Super important- Quebecoises- ATTENTION !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Man's own kids in child porn collection - Crime - Canoe.ca

Man's own kids in child porn collection - Crime - Canoe.ca

There are thousands of "men" like this- just not caught -
Look at many "domestic violence" cases- you know- criminal assault.If you look and listen- you will find child sexual assaults, child pornography and many forms of violence against living , sentient beings .

Problem of Groupthink - Solutions for New Millenium

Problem of Groupthink - Solutions for New Millenium

Having just written a bit about closed systems and - essentially- groupthink - this came through ! Excellent.
Reading a thoughtful post is - SUCH a relief after a frequent diet of dangerous claptrap. (people who believe in dangerous ideas that hurt human beings- specifically, alienation type offal. (NO , I don't mean awful- although that works, too !)

Department of Justice - Laws(Canada) and Gold medals -

Department of Justice - Laws

A useful website for mothers and mothers of children -either or both of whom have been attacked by the "father"/husband/partner.
It has always been a source of incomprehension to me , how the laws can be vigorously applied when a "stranger" tries to kill another- or assaults another adult sexually, or assaults a child- sexually or otherwise: but- if a person KNOWN to the victim(s) is assaulted sexually or otherwise wounded - the crimes are ignored- or turned around to blame the victim(s). I understand why this happens - but not how society, including the law, continues to be so obstinately blind. So obtuse.

So - when reading the laws, and all the messages about not attacking women and children seem to indicate that our society does not condone these criminal acts-one might believe that- if so attacked, there will be a criminal charge etc.

No- not if the criminal is "known" to you or small victims. Why ? Well- first one has to be ABLE to contact police . Not always possible. Then, one has to have police who are trained in -recognizing the validity and danger of a situation. Then, a crown prosecutor must be able and willing to accept the "case". Then, one must have a judge who recognizes the crime(s) for what they are. Any of the "players" involved may be so imbued with legends and myths- and/or so impressed with their own perceived importance, that the crimes are never punished accordingly- relative to the damage inflicted.

Add to all of those obstacles, there is a small percentage of people who loudly work against helping victims. They promote and talk about various theories and ideas. Which serves to further blame victims and is obviously(in the news)- leading to more murders and destruction of human lives- notably- the more vulnerable -women and children-caught in a "family" with an abuser/criminal. Theories, ideas, vague accusations etc. have NO place in a court of law. Divorce or otherwise. Only facts. And even then - - -

Changing the attitudes and mentality of some systems- is a daunting challenge. Worthy of Olympic status. One of the most unevolved systems , has been and continues to be, the social services systems. These are such closed and self-serving bureaucracies that even police will (among themselves) complain how all the work they have done to protect victims- is completely undone, by representatives of these closed systems. The word "on the street" -across Canada- is- NEVER contact the ss- ALWAYS contact police first. You see, victims would rather starve than be continuously attacked -or- killed by their abusers. A clear example of this - gaping wound in our world, can be read in the Lee inquest report from British Columbia.

I want my Gold medal now.

Child Custody Given to Sexually Abusive Father

Child Custody Given to Sexually Abusive Father

Nothing new here. Happens more often than any decent ethical person can imagine (as if one wants to - -)

Some of the names here are- worth noting- as in : DANGER


Also- am unsure if the information is in this text- or another-
What is important to know is this : "He also had a collection of pictures of women and little girls,naked or in riding outfits on horses, that he had begun gathering since the age of sixteen."

One is led to wonder what prompted his-immigration to Canada - - - -

Battered Women, Battered Children, Custody Abuse

Battered Women, Battered Children, Custody Abuse

Same in Canada. A cultural/social scourge. A serious abuse of human rights.

The Summary Report

The Summary Report

Read it and weep. Then decide what action YOU can take. Twenty five years later (since publication) -not a whole lot has changed - -

Can you blog ? Can you volunteer for a women's shelter ? Can you donate clothing etc. to a women's shelter ?
Just- LEARN about the fate of so many children- especially in situiations of domestic violence and divorce.

Dastardly Dads: Sexually abusive dad jailed for 4 1/2 years (Calgary, Canada)

Dastardly Dads: Sexually abusive dad jailed for 4 1/2 years (Calgary, Canada)

Reports like this are vital- information to the public. The victims need to tell police themselves- and way before the abuser has a hint that they or their mother might-. Bt then- it is often too late. The abuser can manipulate-or terrify or both and more- and the victims are silenced.

Always tell police FIRST- never social sevices first- the children risk being silenced or removed-(from the home). Then if a non-abusing parent asks for divorce- custody can be lost-to the abuser. Insane- but- it happens- and way too often. Only once is too often.

Thank goodness the victims spoke- and to the police.

OXYMORONS « MamaLiberty’s Weblog

OXYMORONS « MamaLiberty’s Weblog


I just found this EXCELLENT commentary on - why some mothers and their children are destroyed. This is the attitude set-mind set of those who align themselves with fathers' rights groups. Why do some judges, lawyers,psychologists and a whack of social workers ascribe to pas pa ideas ???? There are probably several reasons- but the end result is the same- destruction of children's lives.One would think that these- supporters of vile ideas would research first ,before they expose their- predilictions ?

Whoever wrote this is on the same wave length as the post I wrote recently..

One of the reasons I only remember bits and pieces of what the x's lawyer was saying in court- and the x's psychologist; is that I was spending time in court thinking of how to get in and out etc. without being attacked or killed. Also, I knew the x's psychologist was a leader in a fathers' rights group in Montreal and had also been associated with a nambla type group in the area. I remember thinking as the psycho logist was spouting his "credentials" to a judge -the one that he said he had "done" 200 assessments- I was calculating how many children had been destroyed-

And today(Nov.20) is -National Children's Day. Yeah . Right. Canada signed the Convention on Children's Rights in 1989 - who knew ! As useful as a protection order against a murderous,violent child rapist. All words, no action-Canada - -

Thankfully, I KNOW there are a majority of people who do not think that daddies having sex with children is okay. In fact , there are laws against it. So- WHY do some people persist in accepting and trying to PUSH the idea that it is okay ?????? I will not repeat my answer to that question, here.

ALL children's rights ? in Canada ? NOT

Having learned , so far- that government groups and agencies only perpetuate abuses- to children of DV and CSA and mothers who have survived DV: I finally decided to -look at the website I will post below-,in the hopes that- maybe-just maybe- they are-enlightened.

I know I am fatigued,and rather cynical- and must observe my reactions careffully- to ensure impartiality (possible when one survives the destruction of everything dear to one ?) ; BUT- on a 5 minute look- not a careful in depth read- I saw HEAVY slanting in the choice of articles presented- -as in- the verbiage about Parental Alienation (wake up- this is BANNED from use in courts in many jurisdictions (U.S.) and is massively unscientific-(condemned by APA) -a theory invented by a pedophilic psychologist and happily used and pushed by abusers of mothers and children. It has NO place being shown on a site for children's rights- UNLESS the posts are there with a warning-.We put warnings on bottles of poison-No wonder we hear little from mothers who report their children's abuses- they are not believed- slammed with PAS or similar nonsense-and they and the children are thrown in the trash.

I may go back and read more carefully- when I recover from the familiar nausea that assails me when I see yet ANOTHER agency/organisation that appears pro-pedophile-read to ensure I am not over-reacting. Actually- it is not possible to over-react- when one sees-PAS. Unless,of course, you think pedophilia is just fine-.Incest is healthy etc. Our children who most need help- are doomed. Still.



http://www.canadiancrc.com

I wonder if our/my tax dollars fund this - - -WARNING may injure your health and that of your children. Correction: FURTHER injure.