Courtney Macavinta: Ending Domestic Violence Is About Jobs, Homes and Protecting Kids, Too

Courtney Macavinta: Ending Domestic Violence Is About Jobs, Homes and Protecting Kids, Too

Well- a reasonable piece in a Huffington Post blog. This blogger (CNW) was thoroughly disgusted with the appearance of a Warshak and his fawning minions, in a Huff piece a few days ago.Incredibly- or perhaps, predictably, NO information that seriously contradicted this idea(of Warshak et al) was accepted. What was left was the swooning and nauseating comments of adulation.I toyed with the idea of re-writing the exact piece, but have the text selling deodorant instead of some dangerous idea. Also, the fawning comments would have served as a toxic base for a deodorant marketer's product. Ultimately, my energy and that of thousands and thousands of battered mothers and their often equally or more wounded children, is not served by paying attention to the pushers of a weapon of destruction.Or deodorant.

Hell Is For Abusers Video

Hell Is For Abusers Video


Rather fits with: Momma, will I ever be able to pee again-

Obituary: Paul Touvier - Obituaries, News - The Independent

Obituary: Paul Touvier - Obituaries, News - The Independent

Note the involvement of the Church- and present day sexual abuse victims and the Church.

Paul Touvier, 81, French War Criminal

Paul Touvier, 81, French War Criminal

Every time I read of these -collaborators, I am reminded of the absolute certainty with which some people "dressed" as psychologists or social workers (for example) denigrate a proective non-abusing mother, and recommend custody to a child rapist.

October 17, 1986/ October 17, 2010.

                                         The date my soul died with a silent scream.

24 years ago today, my soul was wrenched from my being and shattered.




For seven years I had phoned and spoken to police, doctors, ministers, priests - anyone who could help me stop him from beating me and abusing all my children. Could stop him from sodomizing my babies. Stop him from abusing animals.Stop him. Help us. Nothing.

So I find a job and seek divorce. I have temporary custody. I move us to a safer place. By mortgaging the properties I have. There are 4. One for each child and one for me. For them to have a heritage to sell or live in.

His psychologist has recommended custody to the abusive brute. Again. The first judge threw it out and requested another "expertise". The police, doctor, psychiatrist, a social worker, neighbours, minister- a veritable parade of people have come to the court to speak of our experiences at the hands of this abuser. One psychologist vs. how many ?

Another social worker decides I am lying , or am psychotic or my son has been abusing - or- I don't know to this day exactly why she recommended custody to a brutal abuser. The report she gave me was all whatever the abuser told her. There was nothing correct in it. Not even the distance between homes. It would have been laughable if it hadn't been a death sentence for our souls.

October 17, 1986. The five year old wanted to dress up for a "kind of party at school". Unusual- she runs back to give me yet another kiss before getting on the bus. The seven year old wouldn't go to bed the night before. She insisted on following me around as I worked on my teaching papers. She wouldn't go to school in the morning, claiming a queasy stomach.


October 17, 1986, 12:05 p.m. The door knocker is banging wildly. Importantly. Too noisily. I look through the security peephole. I see a policeman whom I know. I know them all, after years of calling and reporting.  Undo all the locks. A strange young man in "workie" clothes pushes the door in and jams his workboot in the space as I try to shut the door-. What is THIS ??? He says; " I am here to take xxxxxxx to her father Madame." (we speak in French) Open the door. The policeman looks like he will faint or vomit.

I tell this strangely intense young man to remove his foot. In my best teacher talking to an out-of control child voice. He says : "What are you going to do ?"  I tell him, I will ask my child to go up to my room and turn on the tv there. Guess he saw something in my eyes. He removes his foot. Shut door. My beloved always -  oh - so - pale child goes upstairs like a ghost.

I phone a neighbour friend. I can hardly dial. My entire body is shaking.  Friend comes. I tell her- he says he is to bring xxxxxxx to her father but there are no papers or judgement. Nothing. She verbally blasts the young man- in English. Well- he would understand the tone.

Finally he tells me to go upstairs and tell the child she is to go and live with her father. (From her behaviour, she already knew- but I didn't) I said. No. I will NOT tell a child she has to go and live with her abuser. It is insanity. You tell her. Before you do, write down what you are doing here and why. Sign and date it. He did.  I had no paper or warning - nothing - I had phoned my lawyer. Of course- it was noon and the offices were closed.

And then my soul walked out the door and that was it.

This paper is marching with a friend, in Rimouski. Symbolic. To carry our silent screams to the Marche Mondiale des Femmes. On October 17, 2010.

Reported Crimes

The flashbacks are coming fast and furious. Don't know why. Here's the latest one. It has been intruding frequently lately. Maybe if I write it, it will subside.

Driving the older daughter back from - school ? Can't remember. Come over the hill where a long ago owner drove a lane through an even older cemetary.Stop. That slimy driver of a truck that sells bread and doughnuts, is parked so I cannot drive into my own yard. Yes, it was my place. Inherited. All 126 acres and private lake of it. I wait, truck running. Trying to make some sense of what I am seeing. Part of me wants to drive away and never return. Disappear. Can't. Youngest daughter is there. Her father was "babysitting" her while I worked. Whatever is going on, I know it has to be -sick and criminal. Can't leave youngest . So I wait. Youngest daughter suddenly appears from out of the truck and runs, limping slightly, into the house. She is holding something in her hands. Runs as though in pain.

A short while later, the bread truck moves ahead a bit. I drive in and past. Out of truck. Older daughter and I whip into house and upstairs to my daughters' bedroom. (They are- 4 and 6 ?) or younger. Can't recall.

Youngest is there- sitting on floor. Older sits beside her. I look cautiously out the window. Two guys could kill us all and say crazy mother ran away with girls. The two are standing just behind the truck. Probably waiting to see if the youngest will "talk". No worry- she has already said to me at age - 3 ? "I don't want you to die, Mommy." Eventually the bread truck leaves. I can't remember the rest of the day or night. The terror tends to do that- mess up memory.

The dress she had on, was new. I had scrimped and saved and bought it. She never wore it again. Years later, I had hung it on "their" door- each place I lived, while fleeing him. Then one day- I looked at it -and this memory came back. Down came the dress. She had been running "funny" because one or more likely, both child abusers had hurt her genital/anal area. She had been carrying her underpants.

If social services had listened to me, to the police, to the doctor etc., they could have helped us. Maybe. They are called protection- (of youth) What a sick joke THAT is. If they had listened and acted, they would have broken that pedo ring sooner. There was the bread man- (x called him Jimmy), and the photographer for children- he travelled around with his backdrops etc.- and the guy who lived - a few kilometres away- he liked little boys. The police did get the doctor (not ours)- years later. Blondin- he went to prison.(the x switched to Blondin, AFTER he got custody. Girls told me, on a rare visit. I told social services.Nothing) Actually, the then head of the social services team told me that it was often better.

The federal government is making noises about unreported crime. Well- shut down the social services. They are responsible for a lot. I hear it constantly. The last thing anyone wants to do,if you have children, is report needing help for food or a place to stay- or sexual abuse etc. They will recommend the abusers get custody. And- get this- if you don't report, you lose custody because you didn't report.(it is the law) If you do report, you will not be believed, treated like a criminal, and worst, your children will be sent to their abuser.

Battered Mothers-A Human Rights Issue

Battered Mothers-A Human Rights Issue




If you still think that applying some theory or other to a situation- instead of looking at reality- then for the sake of your soul , life and that of your children- READ the actual words of fathers' rights proponents- who also support THEORIES - and decide on the basis of information and knowledge.

Simply put : if you ascribe to theories like alienation, false memory, false accusations,seductive children etc. ad nauseum - you are in agreement with the sexual, spiritual,emotional psychological and physical abuse of women and children. In the website -you will read the actual words of these- pro-pedo types. Says a lot about the -state of our "society". Doesn't reflect well on the few -mothers who get sucked into this sick ,twisted group of humans. Speaks volumes about the few "men" who are polititians- who push for bills that essentially propose the oppression of women and children. Of course- it is only 81 years since women in Canada were declared persons. Some people have never accepted that women and children are - people.

Children discussed burning their mother, trial hears

TheRecord.com - Local - Children discussed burning their mother, trial hears

At least this one was caught. Not before the children's minds were royally messed up. If the divorce had proceeded, no doubt the mother would have heard she was accused of some alienation theory or another - -. Those young people have a lot of untwisting their heads to do.As for the mother asking for a divorce - well- one can only imagine what she was trying to deal with- . These men don't just suddenly espose their murderous proclivities- there is always a pattern of behaviour- often seen only by the victims/recipients of the criminal abuses. That mother is lucky to be alive. By living, she has also saved her children. I suppose someone will want the children to visit the alleged would-be murderer in prison. That would be par for the course - -.